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vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Blown away....   1/24/2013

A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde and decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out. The blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into ...


1 Comments, 158 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Bad luck....   1/24/2013

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times...

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
sukmanov 62 M
10  Articles
'STOP' thief   1/24/2013

My buddy just got sacked from The Highway Maintenance Dept for stealing, so I went up to see him.... and all the signs were there.


0 Comments, 122 Views, 4 Votes ,0.14 Score
sukmanov 62 M
10  Articles
Dirty Joke   1/24/2013

I shouted down to my wife...'Hey come up to the bathroom and see the size of this crap I've just done, it's a new world record!! 'You're disgusting! I'm not going anywhere near that bathroom, you degenerate!' 'If you don't go up, just for a peek. I will throw your best dress out the window' The wife trudges reluctantly upstairs... 'OK very funny! Nothing in the toilet you childish moron!' 'It's ...


0 Comments, 124 Views, 7 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
It just hit me!   1/23/2013

My sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year, if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes ...


2 Comments, 108 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Simple   1/23/2013

SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats". But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard ...


0 Comments, 69 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
IT'S ALL IN THE DELIVERY   1/23/2013

Barack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. Suddenly, a Donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full-on and the car comes to an abrupt stop.

Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, you were the one driving.'

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.

'You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ' says ...


2 Comments, 142 Views, 10 Votes ,4.78 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
There comes a time   1/23/2013

There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband... For example... A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she ...


0 Comments, 116 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
NORWEGIAN FIRE DEPARTMENT   1/21/2013

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota , a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Wish I'd Said That!   1/20/2013

When the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said, 'Let us pray.' We closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible and they had the land. ~ Desmond Tutu

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. ~ Timothy Jones

America is ...


0 Comments, 97 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
The Ferrari   1/20/2013

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari ...


0 Comments, 155 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Sunday School   1/20/2013

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back ...


0 Comments, 119 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Play Date   1/20/2013

A mom is driving her little girl to a friend's house for a play date. "Mommy , " the little girl asks , "how old are you?" "Honey , you are not supposed to ask a lady her age", the mother warns . "It is not polite". "Ok", the little girl says ."How much do you weigh?"

"Now really , " the mother says , "these are personal questions and really none of your business." Undaunted , the little ...


0 Comments, 123 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Grandpa Won't Share   1/20/2013

A five year old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulls a beer out of a cooler. the little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" Grandpa replied, "Can your dick touch your ass?" The little boy answered no. Grandpa said "Then you're not man enough to have a beer." A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar. The little boy asked, "Grandpa, can I have a ...


0 Comments, 108 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Parrot From The Pet Store.   1/20/2013

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
How Much Is This Car?   1/20/2013

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her, is a salesman. ...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Stories From A Bar   1/19/2013

4 guys sitting around having drinks and one of the men had to use the restroom. The three others talked about their . The first guy said, "my is my pride and joy he started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, became president of the company. Hes so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line mercedes for christmas. The second guy ...


0 Comments, 111 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Happy Halloween   1/19/2013

A nun gets into a cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

Finally, the cabbie says, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

"My dear , you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy about a nun performing oral sex on me."

"Well, first, ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
At The Pearly Gates   1/19/2013

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. ‘How'd you die?’ the first man asks the second. ‘I froze to death, ’ says the second. ‘That's awful, ’ says the first man. ‘How does it feel to freeze to death?’ ‘It's very uncomfortable at first’, says the second man. ‘You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very ...


0 Comments, 75 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Brings A Tear To My Eye   1/19/2013

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
The Bigger The Dumber   1/19/2013

A mother and father took their 6-year-old to a nude beach.

As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother’s, and asked her why. She told her , "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger "units" ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Is There A Problem Officer?   1/19/2013

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can’t do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
Oh I Wish You Hadn't Said That   1/19/2013

:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"

Father: "That's great . Who is she?"

: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's "

Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something , but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister. "The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...

: "Daddy, I fell ...


0 Comments, 115 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
rm_daputney 39 M
5  Articles
It Could Be Worse   1/19/2013

A mother passing by her daughters bedroom was astonished 2 see the bed was nicely made & everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom". With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope with trembling hands: "Dear Mum, it is with great regret & sorrow that im writing 2 u, i had 2 elope with my new boyfriend because i wanted 2 ...


0 Comments, 95 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Man logic   1/17/2013

Lady: Do you drink?

Man: Yes

Lady: How much a day?

Man: 3 6 packs

Lady: How much per 6 pack

Man: about $10.00

Lady: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: 15 years

Lady: So 1 6 pack cost $10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at $900. In one year, it would be $10, 800 correct?

Man: ...


0 Comments, 138 Views, 11 Votes ,4.10 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Warning:   1/17/2013

Don't wash your hair in the shower.

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT!!!!

WARNING TO US ALL!!! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo cascades down my whole body, and very clearly printed on the ...


0 Comments, 103 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Jack and the    1/17/2013

So, we had this great cat named Jack and the would carry him around and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well we have 3 and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
SpiderBobB 56 M
1  Article
Busted for DWI   1/16/2013

We are headed to the GnR Concert about 2000 miles away. The Cessna is in for repairs can't hitch a ride at the airport. So we do a road trip! We are about 20 miles till our destination so we break out the bottled beer! Of course I grab a Miller Light with Little Bit (Audrey's nickname) taking the Bud in a bottle. As we get closer Little Bit decides to slide her hand over to my leg then up closer ...


0 Comments, 76 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
I was ready to check out   1/16/2013

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to our congressman about this running amok Homeland Security crap, I did just as he had instructed. After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that he was referring to how I should position my credit card.

...


0 Comments, 96 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
This is my neighbor:   1/16/2013

> She's single. > She lives right across the street. > I can see her from my living room. > I watched as she got home this evening from playing golf. > I was surprised when she walked across the street and up on my porch. > She knocked on my door....I rushed to open it. > She looks at me, and says, > "I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to > have a good time, get drunk, ...


0 Comments, 123 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
"I'm going hunting with you!"   1/16/2013

> It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag > the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to geta cup > of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, > fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her, "What are you up > to?"Alice smiles, "I'm going hunting with you!"Jake, > though he had many reservations about this, ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 5 Votes ,5.43 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
HOLY HUMOR   1/16/2013

During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People. 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognize each other at the liquor store.

GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school ...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
One more time   1/16/2013

Distinction between Guts and Balls

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.







We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving ...


0 Comments, 70 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)   1/13/2013

Tobacco Smoke Enemas (1750s – 1810s)

The tobacco enema was used to infuse tobacco smoke into a patient’s rectum for various medical purposes, primarily the resuscitation of drowning victims.

A rectal tube inserted into the anus was connected to a fumigator and bellows that forced the smoke towards the rectum.

The warmth of the smoke was thought to promote ...


3 Comments, 102 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Maybe you should sell your guns and boat.”   1/13/2013

Tim and his long-time girlfriend finally decided to tie the knot. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was reloading some shells for an upcoming hunt. His new wife was standing there at the bench.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I've been thinking… now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns ...


0 Comments, 119 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
" Not yet, "   1/13/2013

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

" Not yet, " said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he ...


3 Comments, 114 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Sing whatever hymn comes to your mind   1/13/2013

One Sunday morning, a priest decided to do something a little different. He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind.

The pastor shouted out "CROSS"

Immediately the congregation started to sing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS"

The pastor ...


1 Comments, 97 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Retire to Alaska?   1/13/2013

Oops... Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing ...


0 Comments, 92 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
It's the first time they've flown together   1/13/2013

An Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese.

It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..'

'No ...


0 Comments, 97 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?   1/13/2013

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.







...


0 Comments, 55 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist?   1/13/2013

Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.







...


0 Comments, 29 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Nice cock!   1/13/2013

After some great sex, she lies there stroking his prick. He asks, “Do you want more sex?” “No, ” she replies, “I’m just admiring your cock... I really miss mine.”





...


0 Comments, 47 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?   1/12/2013

Because they have to pull their own pants down.


0 Comments, 61 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Do you know what 6.9 is?   1/12/2013

Another good thing fucked up by a period.


0 Comments, 81 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
Booo   1/12/2013

My next door neighbor had good 2ft of leafs in his yard. I am playing a joke, I cover myself with leafs. He goes to work 7AM, he came out the door and I jump up and got him.


0 Comments, 95 Views, 6 Votes
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
She uses Va-a-a-s-oh-leen!   1/11/2013

A market researcher called at a house and a young woman answered his knock with three small running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheese borough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Government Spending....   1/11/2013

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180, 000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study as well. After $250, 000.00, and 3 years of research, they ...


1 Comments, 89 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Meet Mr. Brown....   1/11/2013

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet 3 inches tall, 385 pounds, 12 inch penis, 2 pound left testicle, 2 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."

The small guy faints away and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, gently slapping his face ...


0 Comments, 89 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
allin196456 59 M
2  Articles
Olympic condoms   1/11/2013

A bloke says to his wife "Darling, my olympic condoms have arrived. I think I will wear the gold one tonight. She replied "Why dont you wear silver and come second for a change"


0 Comments, 77 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
allin196456 59 M
2  Articles
Two hands and a face   1/11/2013

A bloke yells to his wife "come and have a look at my clock" His wife enters the room to find him naked and holding his cock "Thats not a clock" she says He replied "It fucking will be when you put two hands and a face on it"


0 Comments, 92 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Build me a bridge....   1/10/2013

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish.

The man sat down on the ...


0 Comments, 81 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
OOOOPS!   1/10/2013

It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and before he can say anything, some talking came from the other end of the line and the husband says "How the heck do I know - what am I, the weather man?" and promptly slams the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband replies, "I ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Happy Birthday!   1/10/2013

It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?, " asks the Post Office worker. "33, " says the man. "Well, have a good day, " says the worker. "Thank you, " replied the man. To get home, the man has to take the bus. At ...


0 Comments, 94 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
FORE!!!   1/10/2013

A husband and wife want to take golf lessons from a pro at a local country club. The man and woman meet the pro and head onto the driving range. The man goes up to hit first. He swings and hits the ball 100 yards. The golf pro says not bad. Golfpro: "Now hold the club as firm as you hold your wife's breasts". The man follows instructions and hits the ball 300 yards. The golf pro says ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
three nuns.....   1/10/2013

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines." "What did you do?" the other nuns asked. "Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other ...


0 Comments, 110 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Expecting...   1/10/2013

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

Pregnant.


0 Comments, 88 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
Phone home   1/10/2013

How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.


0 Comments, 66 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Saggy and baggy   1/10/2013

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"


0 Comments, 48 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Poker   1/10/2013

Sex is like poker... if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.


0 Comments, 50 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
Fill in the space   1/10/2013

Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra. Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it! Wife: You wear shorts!


0 Comments, 62 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
Sperm   1/10/2013

How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.


0 Comments, 36 Views, 2 Votes ,5.20 Score
I don't condone this   1/10/2013

What's worse than getting by Jack the Ripper? A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.


0 Comments, 36 Views, 0 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Ole needs a new milk cow   1/9/2013

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He needs a new milk cow and hears about one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der). He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls...the cow farts. Ole is surprised. He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under ...


0 Comments, 84 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A doctor in Duluth   1/8/2013

A doctor in Duluth, Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.

"Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Ole.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So, Ole, How was your day?"

...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
,"How have things been going?"   1/8/2013

These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. First guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?"

The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy,

"I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey; you don't stutter any more."

The answer comes, " Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o ...


0 Comments, 88 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
rm_SDfun87 36 M
1  Article
123   1/6/2013

123


1 Comments, 39 Views, 1 Votes
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder   1/6/2013

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along, the woman picks ...


0 Comments, 121 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
Firewood   1/6/2013

Hello, is this the Police?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the Police descend on Billy’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy and ...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Grave news   1/6/2013

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her ...


1 Comments, 110 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---   1/6/2013

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife ...


1 Comments, 95 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Dig...Dig...Dig   1/6/2013

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.

Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced magic because of the many ...


0 Comments, 99 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Open heart bypass surgery   1/6/2013

The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
"Just Fred" One more time   1/6/2013

A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day he decided to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name." Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him ...


0 Comments, 93 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
A philosophy on incest.....   1/5/2013

Imagine this:

You walk into a rom, where two beautiful blonde twin-sisters are making love with each other.

Why is this ok?

Because, echnically they are really just playing with them themselves.


0 Comments, 241 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
ATTENTION! Joke police! Please read and RESPOND!   1/5/2013

First of all, let me say thanks to all those who post their jokes and humorous articles here... as well as those that take the time to respond and vote.

That being said, to those who's only response is "god, thats an old one" or "thats not new", ect... all I have to say is this:

I personally do not research my material in any way, either by means of googling, library ...


0 Comments, 63 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
A disturbing day at the beach   1/4/2013

A man was jogging down the when he came across a woman crying in a beach-chair. After a closer examination he realized she had niether arms nor legs.

"Is there something I can do to help, ma'am?" he asked.

"I doubt it." she replied. "Its just that I have no arms and no legs, and will probably never know the embrace of a man." She weeped.

The man heart swelled with ...


0 Comments, 99 Views, 6 Votes ,0.23 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
The irony of it all....   1/4/2013

Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death, " says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first. "It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift ...


0 Comments, 106 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Nice doggie!   1/4/2013

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Keepin it real....   1/4/2013

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent 1 Bar of soap 3 individual servings of yogurt 2 oranges 1 stick of women’s deodorant. She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single Woman: You can tell that by what I bought? Cashier: No, you're just fucking ugly!


0 Comments, 82 Views, 7 Votes
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
A woman knows best....   1/4/2013

After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise, " he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse, " she ...


1 Comments, 109 Views, 7 Votes ,2.53 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Wise Doctor   1/4/2013

BEER AND SWEET TEA

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue

. Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 9 Votes ,4.28 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Rare happening   1/4/2013

In the year 2013, a remarkable coincidence will take place----both Groundhog day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This rare happening this year has special meaning.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for insight into the future.

The other involves a groundhog....


2 Comments, 89 Views, 6 Votes ,5.64 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
My work is done here.   1/4/2013

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

If you're a woman, I'm thinking you're going back to read it again!

Men ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Blowjobs, 5 Bucks!!!!   1/3/2013

A is walking downtown and a girl whispers to him, "Pssst... Blowjob, five dollars". He gives her a strange look and keeps walking. Soon another girl does the same thing. Confused, he keeps walking. The first thing out of his mouth when he returned home was "Mom, what's a blowjob?". His mom replies "Five dollars, same as downtown!".


1 Comments, 130 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Blonde sobriety test....   1/3/2013

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulls over a car for speeding. He walks up to the car and asks the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he notices, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works!



"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"



"What's a license???" ...


1 Comments, 112 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Did you ever wonder why blondes....   1/3/2013

like to wear such big hoops in their ears?

So they know where to put their ankles!



What do you get when you insert a brunette between two blondes?

An interpreter...



...


0 Comments, 69 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
What do you get when u flip a blonde upside down?   1/3/2013

A brunette!



...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 2 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
I failed   1/3/2013

I failed a Health and Safety course at the Senior Center today.

One of the questions was:

"In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"

"F***ing' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer


0 Comments, 66 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Pervert calling   1/3/2013

The telephone rings, and the wife answers.

A pervert with heavy breathing, says,

"I bet you have a tight ass, with no hair."

Woman replies, "Yes, he's watching TV - whom shall I say is calling?"


0 Comments, 78 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Too young for the cat-house   1/3/2013

A young man enters a brothel. As he approaches the front desk, the madame eyes him shrewdly.

"How old are you?"

"Um, I'm 18"? He stammers

"You're a liar! But I'll tell you what... out back is an old wood carving of the most beautiful woman you've ever seen - anatomically correct even... I'll let you bust your nut on her for 50 bucks"

Disappointed, but unwilling ...


0 Comments, 94 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
A man is drinking at a bar.   1/2/2013

After one-too-many drinks, he finally decides to head home. As he stands to leave, his legs buckle and he falls flat on his face. After a few more attempts, he gives up and decides to crawl on his hands and knees to the exit.

Thinking some fresh air would fix things, he tries to walk again, but to no avail.

"Damn! I'm gonna have to crawl all the way home!"

After some ...


0 Comments, 85 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
vegasxxxxcouple 57 C
42  Articles
Sorry - Another BLONDE joke....   1/2/2013

OK First off, there's no way to be politically correct here... its just a joke, ok?

A Blonde, a brunette and a redhead are at the doctors office, awaiting their pregnancy results.

The redhead leans towards the other two and whispers conspiratorily - "I already know what i'm having... a BOY, because I was On top!

The brunette leans in and says - ooooh! So i'm having a ...


0 Comments, 86 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
Pedophiles   12/28/2012

2 pedophiles were sitting on a park bench when a 12 yr old girl walked by. One says to the other "I'll bet she was hot in her day"


1 Comments, 182 Views, 14 Votes ,0.26 Score
2 pedophiles   12/28/2012

2 pedophiles were on the beach when one says to the other, "Hey, you're in my "


0 Comments, 133 Views, 9 Votes
Any Humor Here?   12/24/2012

I find that most people on this site are rather humorless. Any idea of why this might be? I have always thought of sex as, well, fun. But apparently not here.


2 Comments, 66 Views, 6 Votes ,0.52 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Illinois bikers - making the rounds again   12/21/2012

A group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge, so they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to commit suicide."

While he didn't want to appear ...


0 Comments, 170 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Pregnant got on a bus   12/21/2012

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. ...

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man ...


1 Comments, 182 Views, 10 Votes ,3.39 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A friend of mine needs some help!   12/21/2012

I'm reaching out, as a friend of mine needs some help!

His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.

When he came back he tossed her some diet pills.

Anyway, he's looking for a place to live, can you help him??


0 Comments, 179 Views, 9 Votes ,5.56 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
THE 'Y' CHROMOSOME   12/21/2012

People born before 1946 are called - The Greatest Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called - The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called - Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y.



Why do we call the last group -Generation Y ? Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home ...


2 Comments, 144 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
man goes to a shrink   12/20/2012

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?"

"Relax, " says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"


1 Comments, 180 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A man goes to see the Rabbi.   12/20/2012

"Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me.

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk ...


0 Comments, 145 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
All eyes were on the radiant bride   12/20/2012

All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom, the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.


0 Comments, 139 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?   12/20/2012

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"


1 Comments, 141 Views, 12 Votes ,6.69 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Really Bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   12/20/2012

Did you hear about the blonde who: ...had more on her body than on her mind? ...was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean? ...took an hour to cook Minute Rice? ...got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up? ...was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient? ...had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs? ...thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates? ...was told ...


0 Comments, 99 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Brunette on train tracks   12/20/2012

A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".

A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".

Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place.

The brunette goes back to ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
"GREEN SIDE UP!"   12/20/2012

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"

In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled ...


0 Comments, 111 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Adam & Eve 2   12/20/2012

Adam & Eve 2



What excuse did Adam give to his as to why he no longer lived in Eden?



He said, "Your mother ate us out of house and home."


0 Comments, 86 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Adam & Eve   12/20/2012

Adam and Eve were wandering through the Garden of Eden one day when God looked down and said, "Okay, , I only have a couple of things left here in my bag of goodies. Who wants the ability to urinate standing up?" To which Eve immediately replied, "I do, God, may I have it?" So God granted her the ability, but Eve saw a look of such utter despair on Adam's face that meant he wanted the ability, ...


0 Comments, 92 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Sorry, I couldn't help myself   12/19/2012

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
(SMILE)   12/16/2012

John went to the local bank to borrow money to buy a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, went by a week later to see how the new bull was doing. John complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. The Banker suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

The next week, the Banker returned to see if the vet had ...


2 Comments, 156 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A couple were celebrating 50 years together..   12/16/2012

Their three , all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, " gushed number one. 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry, " said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

number two ...


0 Comments, 149 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
eilendover 40 F
8  Articles
OBAMA PLAYING BASKETBALL   12/16/2012

OBAMA WAS PLAYING BASKETBALL WITH KAREEM ABDUL JABAR 1 NIGHT. AFTER PLAYING THEY WERE SHOWERING UP AT THE GYM. OBAMA NOTICED HOW HUGH KAREEMS COCK WAS AND STATED HOW HE WISHED THE OLD SAYING WAS TRUE (BLACK MEN HAVE BIG COCKS) KAREEM LET OUT A CHUCKLE AND STATED THAT HE WASNT BORN WITH IT. HE WORKED LONG AND HARD GETTING A BIG COCK. HE TOLD OBAMA THAT EVERY NIGHT FOR 2 MONTHS BEFORE GOING TO ...


4 Comments, 163 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
eilendover 40 F
8  Articles
Obama was horny 1 night   12/16/2012

OBAMA WAS HORNY 1 NIGHT, SO HE WALKED DOWN TO THE NEAREST BORDELLO. HE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND THE DOOR OPENED UP. AS HE WALKED IN HE SAW A BRUNET A BLOND AND A REDHEAD. THE BRUNET WAS SITTING AT THE BAR, THE BLOND WAS SITTING AT A TABLE, THE REDHEAD WAS SITTING ON THE STAIRS. HE WALKED OVER TO THE BRUNET AT THE BAR AND ASKED "HOW MUCH WOULD YOU CHARGE ME" SHE REPLYED "ONLY $200.00" OBAMA SAID ...


1 Comments, 145 Views, 11 Votes ,3.73 Score
A new tax   12/15/2012

Obama is proposing a tax on aspirin. He says it should be done because they are white and they work.


3 Comments, 120 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
rm_CplnMidGA4U 58 C
1  Article
Just bad taste...   12/11/2012

The bartender caught a break and wondered up to a young man sitting at the end of the bar.

"Trying to drown your sorrows, huh?" said the bartender.

"Nah, just kinda celebrat'n" replied the young man."

"Whatcha celebrating?" asked the bartender.

The young man leaned over the bar and whispered, "Just had my first blowjob."

"Well then, " said the ...


1 Comments, 175 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Eating fresh shrimp   12/10/2012

A Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man who was wearing a turban eating fresh shrimp.

Every time he ate one he spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to deflect it.

Eventually she had enough and pulled the Emergency Cord.

The Muslim looked at her and said, "You'll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid Catholic bitch."

She laughed ...


0 Comments, 170 Views, 10 Votes ,2.79 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
One more time   12/9/2012

Just in case you needed a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance to those of us who fly routinely.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet, ' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then ...


0 Comments, 139 Views, 7 Votes ,5.59 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Some Pretty Good Science Here !!!!   12/9/2012

Well, it is not a pretty story ... about 200 dead crows near Guelph … there was concern for Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows and confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief. However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impacts.

The Province engaged a ...


1 Comments, 125 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A STORY OF LETTUCE.   12/9/2012

A MAN WANTS TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE

THE BOY IN LETTICE DEPARTMENT TELLS THE MAN THAT THE STORE DOESN’T SELL LETTICE THAT WAY.

THE MAN PERSISTS AND ASKS TO SEE THE MANAGER.

THE BOY SAYS HE'LL ASK HIS MANAGER ABOUT IT.

WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM, THE BOY SAID TO HIS MANAGER, 'SOME ASSHOLE WANTS TO BUY HALF A HEAD OF LETTUCE.'

AS HE FINISHED HIS ...


0 Comments, 146 Views, 9 Votes ,5.14 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
NUDE SANTA   12/9/2012

Adults only NUDE SANTA -----







Scroll down to see the nude Santa



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*







*







*







*







*







*







*

...


0 Comments, 130 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
moxlolz 33 M
3  Articles
Pick up lines so bad... They're funny.   12/9/2012

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice!

Excuse me miss, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants tonight!

Share yours, I'm building a collection.


3 Comments, 106 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
Want to pull one on your girlfriend or wife?   12/7/2012

Just hold a dollar bill over your belt buckle and ask her to guess what you are.

When she gives up, tell her you're a Happy Meal.....All she can eat, under a buck !


0 Comments, 84 Views, 3 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
The Afghani Quarterback   12/4/2012

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a GREAT quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young ...


0 Comments, 165 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans   12/4/2012

A Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards San Diego , California . The Captain gets on the loud- speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America !"

The entire crew of the destroyer double over in laughter. When the Captain is ...


0 Comments, 148 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
COSTS TO MUCH   12/2/2012

An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. ... He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1, 000?" he asks again. ...


0 Comments, 150 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
GET A PUSH?   12/2/2012

A man & his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up & answers the door & there stood a drunken man in the pounding rain & is asking for a push. "Not a chance", says the husband "it is 3:00 in the morning & slams the door & returns to bed". His wife asks, "who was that?" "Just some drunk dude asking for a push". His wife asks, well aren't u going to go & help ...


0 Comments, 115 Views, 4 Votes ,0.92 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SEX AFTER SURGERY   12/2/2012

A surgeon came to see his patient on the morning after her operation. The hot young blonde asked him, somewhat hesitantly, how long it would be before she could resume her normally active sex life. "I really haven't thought about it, " gulped the stunned surgeon. "You're the first patient who's ever asked me that question after a tonsillectomy."...


0 Comments, 143 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE WAR IS OVER?   12/2/2012

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my , " said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." ... "That's a wonderful thing, my , and nothing that you need ...


0 Comments, 124 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
LETS KEEP IT QUIET   12/2/2012

A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.

One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white . The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white . It doesn't ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
OUT HUNTING   12/2/2012

A professor at the University of British Columbia was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
shopping at the mall   12/2/2012

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was. In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry ...


0 Comments, 118 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE INVASION   12/1/2012

A Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California. The Captain gets on the loud speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America!"

The entire crew of the destroyer double over in laughter. When the Captain is finally able to ...


0 Comments, 85 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Solving the Problem   11/30/2012

According to a news report, a certain private charter school in San Antonio was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of twelve-year-old girls who were beginning to use lipstick would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance ...


2 Comments, 174 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
NIP & TUCK   11/28/2012

A woman just finished giving birth to her eighth and asked the doctor if it was possible to have a bit of cosmetic surgery on her vagina as it was hanging like a wizards sleeve.

"sure" the doctor replied, "just give it a few weeks to recover and I'll be glad to set up an appointment with the cosmetic surgeon".

The weeks pass, she has her initial consultation and the doctor ...


0 Comments, 161 Views, 9 Votes ,4.07 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
A VERY ATTRACTIVE LADY   11/28/2012

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar tender in a quiet rural pub.

She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no, " the ...


0 Comments, 156 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SNOW   11/28/2012

Snow is like a cock. It's measured in inches. Soft to the touch. Cums when you least expect it and never gets as deep as you like it.

Driving in snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention, you could slide into the asshole in front of you.
...


0 Comments, 136 Views, 9 Votes ,3.43 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
OFFENSIVE   11/28/2012

This asshole looked at my beer belly last night and sarcastically said, "Is that Corona or Bud?" I said, "There's a tap underneath. Taste it and find out."

***********

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you 'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there ...


0 Comments, 95 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE AGONY OF DYSLEXIA   11/28/2012

After Daylight Savings Time ended, I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend.

He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, “You idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!
...


0 Comments, 127 Views, 6 Votes ,5.36 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
A HOT DOG   11/28/2012

A hot walks into a bar and says"bartender I'll have a beer" bartender says" Im sorry we dont serve food here ! "...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
GUY WALKS INTO A BAR   11/28/2012

A guy walks into a bar, says "I'll have a beer" downs the beer..looks into his pocket, and says " bartender I'll have another beer" he downs it , looks into his pocket, orders another beer, , downs the beer, ,looks into his pocket and says"bartender I'll have another beer! " bartender says" why do you keep looking in tour pocket?" the man says "I have a picture of my wife in there, when she ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
A SNAIL   11/28/2012

a snail walks into a bar, ,says bartender, " I'll have a beer " bartender says we dont serve snails" and throws the snail out of the bar, ,, , two weeks later the snail walks back into the bar and says" what did you do that for !"...


0 Comments, 109 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
BARTENDER JOKES   11/28/2012

a walks into the bar, , bartender says"hey why the long face?" a bear walks into the bar and says " Barrrrtenderrrr I'll have ........ a......... beer" bartender says "hey why the long pause ?!"...


0 Comments, 84 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Drinks for everyone   11/28/2012

A union captain walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama's victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and two beers in front of him. He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, ...


0 Comments, 144 Views, 14 Votes ,5.86 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Irish nuns have just arrived in USA   11/28/2012

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat, and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd, " her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America , we might as well do as the Americans do."

As they sit, they hear a pushcart vendor yelling, "Hot dogs, get your dogs here, " and they both walk towards the hot cart.

"Two ...


0 Comments, 122 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Old woman was arrested = One more time   11/28/2012

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?"

She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, "6."

The ...


0 Comments, 132 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
Nominated as the world's best short joke   11/28/2012

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'

'Not yet, ' she replied


0 Comments, 94 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
The 5 answers we've all been waiting for!   11/28/2012

Q: What is an Australian kiss? A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.'



Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms? A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.



Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them.



Q: Why ...


0 Comments, 74 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Group sex info   11/28/2012

If sex with 4 people is called a foursome;

And sex with 3 people is called a threesome;

And sex with 2 people is a twosome;

Now I understand why they call you handsome


0 Comments, 140 Views, 9 Votes ,4.49 Score
eilendover 40 F
8  Articles
Sonofabitches   11/26/2012

Sonofabitches

I was standing in the check-out line at the grocery store. I thought Ohhh Great I got in the wrong line! There were 2 women ahead of me just yacking away and not paying attention to the line moving. I looked behind me and saw 6 other people in line looking just as annoyed as i was. I was just about to grab my stuf and jump to another checkout when 1 of the ladies piped ...


2 Comments, 161 Views, 8 Votes ,2.09 Score
eilendover 40 F
8  Articles
HOME DEPOT ALERT   11/26/2012

HOME DEPOT ALERT

A 'Heads Up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month a male friend of mine became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works. Two seriously good-looking 20-21 ...


0 Comments, 150 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Two old guys   11/26/2012

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.

The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.

The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high And you'll have great ...


0 Comments, 153 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
dcrel123 42 M
10  Articles
Best Joke   11/24/2012

plz share the best joke u ever heard...


1 Comments, 49 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Eviloutlaw1 62 M
2  Articles
Cowboy   11/24/2012

The Cowboy position:

Mount your wife from behind, reach under her and grab on to both of her breasts and say "Hey, these are almost as nice as your sisters!" try to hold on for eight seconds.


0 Comments, 71 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
prod1013 35 M
11  Articles
Happy Thanksgiving   11/23/2012

The Chicken turned to the Turkey and said, "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!"

The Turkey said to the Chicken, "f$$k you man!!"


1 Comments, 66 Views, 4 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SO UGLY   11/22/2012

My last girlfriend was so ugly, that when she worked in a pet store people kept asking how big she would get......


0 Comments, 57 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
HOME FROM WORK   11/22/2012

I came home from work to find my house engulfed in flames.

A fireman walked up to me, "Sir, it's ok, your wife is safe."

I said, "How the fuck did that happen?"

"It could be many reasons, gas leak, cigarette..."

I interrupted, "No, I mean how the fuck did she get the handcuffs off?"
...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
RIDDLE   11/22/2012

What's old and wrinkly and hangs out grandpa's trousers? Grandma....


0 Comments, 60 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
TWO NUNS   11/22/2012

Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to sexually assault them.

Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!"

Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!!!"
...


0 Comments, 121 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
GOLFING NUN   11/22/2012

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was, " sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented ...


0 Comments, 106 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
ANNIVERSARY   11/22/2012

On the eve of our anniversary .... my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex.

Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers...

... and stuck my cock in her mouth.
...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
A NUN GOES INTO   11/22/2012

A confessional and says to the priest, "I'm pregnant." "How can this happen?" asked the priest. "I think it must be the second coming, " she replies. The priest, shocked by this reply asks, "What makes you think it's the second coming?" The nun answered, "Because I swallowed the first."...


0 Comments, 97 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
HA   11/22/2012

What's black and white and shouts "fuck the pope"?

A nun that's won the lottery!
...


0 Comments, 34 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
One more time - different version   11/19/2012

Old Man And The Beaver

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my . "So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then ...


0 Comments, 168 Views, 9 Votes ,5.35 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Ole won a fishing boat in a raffle drawing   11/19/2012

Ole won a fishing boat in a raffle drawing in a small upstate Minnesota town.

He brought it home and Lena looks at him and says, "Vot da heck you gonna do vit dat. Dere ain't no water deep enough ta float a boat widin 50 miles uv here."

Ole says, "I vun it and I'ma gonna keep it."

Sven came over to visit several days later. He sees Lena and asks where Ole is.

...


0 Comments, 111 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
It all makes sense now   11/19/2012

FYI

Gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day.

It all makes sense now......

Leviticus 20:13 - "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned."

We've just been interpreting it wrong all these years.


0 Comments, 89 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Male Logic   11/19/2012

Male Logic



This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk.

And if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They ...


0 Comments, 100 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
ULGY   11/17/2012

I know a girl thats so ulgy that to perform birth contol she leaves the lights on...


0 Comments, 59 Views, 7 Votes ,0.75 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Hunting in the Hualapai Mountains   11/16/2012

A Californian and an Arizonian were Elk hunting in the Hualapai Mountains when an illegal alien runs across a clearing.

The Arizonian takes careful aim, shoots, and kills him.

"You can't do that!" cried the Californian.

"No, no... Remember this is a Red State , it's legal here in Arizona " replies the Arizonian.

Later that night the Californian goes to Kingman ...


0 Comments, 127 Views, 11 Votes ,4.29 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
At the dentist office   11/16/2012

Just at the moment when the dentist was leaning over towards his patient to start on her teeth, he was startled.

"Excuse me, Miss, those are my balls that you are holding."

"I know" she answered sweetly. "Let us be very careful not to hurt each other...OK?"


0 Comments, 145 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
taking their mid-term exam   11/16/2012

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.

The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’

The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

However, he wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the . 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is ...


0 Comments, 132 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
LITTLE JOHNNY AT IT AGAIN   11/15/2012

The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love, ” the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny, ” she said gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? ...


1 Comments, 182 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
RANCH HAND   11/15/2012

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be ...


0 Comments, 158 Views, 6 Votes ,5.93 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE THE DRUNKS   11/15/2012

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggsq A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, ...


0 Comments, 113 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
LOST IN THE DESERT   11/15/2012

Two guys are stranded in the desert dying of thirst. As they're walking along they see a little shack. They run up to it and knock on the door. This big, fat, hairy, smelly, ugly, lady answers. The first man tells the lady about their situation and begs her for a drink. The women says, "Sure, if you fuck me." The first man replies, "I would rather die in this desert, then sleep with your ...


0 Comments, 120 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
fuckking of monkeys   11/14/2012

i was taking class in open door room.one female monkey enterd followed by male monkey.soon male started fucking.female students also saw and saw boys!


0 Comments, 116 Views, 7 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher   11/14/2012

Amy, a blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today.

I drove a nail into the 2 X 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. Show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?" The rancher leaves for the fields.

After a ...


0 Comments, 177 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MY MIND   11/13/2012

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE GUTTER ...MY MIND WOULD BE HOMELESS.......


0 Comments, 52 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
AIN'T LIFE GRAND   11/13/2012

The holidays are getting close....what are your plans for Thanksgiving.

I'm having a bunch of people from the UK come visit me.

They wont be eating turkey, they'll be eating Crow
...


0 Comments, 80 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Here are jokes about blond men! - Really Bad   11/13/2012

Finally, after years of receiving blonde jokes about women, here are jokes about blond men!

Blond Men Jokes

A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ------------------------------------ Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one ...


2 Comments, 138 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Retirement   11/12/2012

The longer you've been married, the funnier this becomes!

An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!"


0 Comments, 171 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Employee Notice   11/12/2012

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, senior management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be can apply to HR to be considered for the SHAFT ...


0 Comments, 149 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
BACK & FORTH   11/9/2012

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again....

Back and forth...back and forth...in and out...in and out.

Her heart was pounding...her face was flushed...then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted, ...


1 Comments, 136 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
froze to death   11/9/2012

A Native American chief woke up one morning and decided to go into town. The nearest town was about 20 miles away, so he would ride his about half-way, 'til he got to the freeway, and then tie up his and hitchhike the rest of the way.

He got to the road, and stuck out his thumb. Soon a guy in a bright red sports car picked him up. After the guy got back on the freeway, he started ...


0 Comments, 136 Views, 7 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
GIRLFRIENDS FATHER   11/9/2012

I met my girlfriend's father on my own for the first time last night.

"So Dave, " he said smiling, "What do you honestly think of my ?"

"Definitely a 7 out of 10, " I replied, "The face isn't all that, but she has tits like a porn star."

"Are you fucking being serious?" he asked.

"Yes, " I said handing him my phone, "Take a look if you don't believe ...


0 Comments, 148 Views, 3 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
PIANO   11/9/2012

What's better than roses on your piano?

Two-lips on your organ.


0 Comments, 64 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SPERM BANK   11/9/2012

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.

So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him ...


0 Comments, 84 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MISSING   11/9/2012

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing....


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
WEATHER   11/9/2012

Snow in the forecast!

The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
...


0 Comments, 41 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.   11/9/2012

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes, " he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are ...


0 Comments, 145 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MAX FACTOR   11/6/2012

Max Factor mascara makes your eyelashes apear 3 times longer.

Max Factor should make condoms.
...


0 Comments, 59 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE BRIDE   11/6/2012

A woman [married three times] walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. 'Of course, madam, ' replied the sales clerk, 'exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?'

The bride-to-be said, 'A long frilly white dress with a veil.'

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, 'Please don't ...


0 Comments, 149 Views, 9 Votes ,4.28 Score
bamaguy37 57 M
9  Articles
The other day   11/2/2012

I was fooling around with this married woman the other day on her kitchen table. When we heard the front door open and she said...OMG!!! it's my husband!!..she said QUICK try the back door...Well I guess I should have run..But ya dont get that kind of offer every day...


0 Comments, 232 Views, 15 Votes ,4.20 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CHASING WOMEN   11/2/2012

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?ANSWER: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving....


0 Comments, 43 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
BLOW JOB   11/2/2012

Had my first blowjob today....... five whiskeys & I still can't get rid of the taste....


0 Comments, 31 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
PANTS FIT   11/2/2012

Did U hear about the man with five penises? His pants fits like a glove...


1 Comments, 31 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
WHITE HOUSE GARDENER FIRED   11/2/2012

While filing for unemployment, the gardener was asked what happened. He said he was doing his job and replanting some small shrubs just outside the oval office. He call to his assistant asking "have you seen the hoe and the spade?" next thing I knew I was fired....


0 Comments, 140 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SAME SEX MARRIAGE   11/2/2012

Michael and Gary got married in California ..

They couldn't afford a real honeymoon so they drive back to Michael's Mom and Dad's house in Portland, Oregon for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Michael's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Michael and Gary are up yet. She ...


0 Comments, 128 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
LENA, LARS & SVEN   11/2/2012

Lena's car breaks down on the Highway 8 just outside of Lindstrom one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out of the trunk jump two men, Lars and Sven in trench coats, who stand at the rear of the vehicle where they are facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats, exposing their nude bodies to approaching ...


0 Comments, 102 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
kinginsize007 61 M
1  Article
doublesided   11/2/2012

long back at the United Nations meeting three dignitaries get to become friends, during there week long stay. One is American, the other an Englishman and the third a North Indian Punjabi. After dinner, one night they all say, we have been here for over a week now but did never discuss about dames back in our country. The ask the american to tell first. The American says, is our country we have ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 8 Votes ,2.09 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Fun Church in Texas   11/1/2012

There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.



Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female.



The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or ...


0 Comments, 127 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Wedding Dresses   10/31/2012

A asked his mother the following question:

'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her and replies:

', this shows all the friends and relatives that the bride is pure.'

The thanks his Mom and turns to double-check this with his father who was watching football on TV.

'Dad, why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his in ...


0 Comments, 157 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
portorchardcoup 57 C
4  Articles
Dumbest Ever   10/29/2012

Whats Green and sings?

















Elvis Parsley


1 Comments, 105 Views, 8 Votes ,0.70 Score
prehistoric   10/29/2012

What do you call a lesbian dinosaurs

























A LICKALOTAPUSS


1 Comments, 98 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
bigmoney22578 30 M
11  Articles
jokery   10/27/2012

Did You Here About The Theives At The Viagra factory?

The police are looking for some hardened criminals


0 Comments, 73 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Too old to Trick or Treat   10/27/2012

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when: 10. You keep knocking on your own front door.

9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.

8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

6. People say: 'Great Boris Karloff Mask, ' And you're not wearing a mask. ...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 7 Votes ,2.53 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
PMS   10/26/2012

During his sermon one Sunday, the local preacher told his congregation that the entire range of human experience could be found in the Bible. He confidently stated, "If anything can happen to humans, it is described somewhere in the Bible." After the service, a woman came up to the preacher and said, "Reverend, I don't think the Bible mentions anything about PMS."

The preacher ...


0 Comments, 148 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
HOW COULD YOU????????   10/25/2012

I arrived home from work and my girlfriend started punching and kicking me.

"How could you?!" she screamed. "How fucking could you?! You've fucked my sister you bastard!"

"I'm sorry, " I confessed. "I got to work and she was lying there...naked. I'm only human. What was I supposed to do?"

"The fucking autopsy, " she cried.
...


1 Comments, 220 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
COUPLE SEX   10/25/2012

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grandpa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to know to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer.

Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human ...


0 Comments, 177 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
WHAT SEPARATES?   10/25/2012

What separates humans from animals ?

The mediterranean...............
...


2 Comments, 90 Views, 6 Votes ,0.80 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
GLADYS & JASPER   10/25/2012

Gladys and Jasper were residents of a senior's home, both approaching their centennial birthdays they become quite attached.

Jasper took Gladys aside one day after dinner and popped the big question. Gladys was thrilled and said "I do" to which Jasper said "what" as he was near deaf. Gladys made him aware she would be thrilled to be married.

After the ceremony and their ...


0 Comments, 122 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
DEAR DR. PHIL   10/25/2012

The other day I happened to look out the window of my upstairs bedroom, and noticed my neighbor's young sunbathing topless in their back yard, by the pool. As I was standing there masturbating, I turned and noticed my wife standing in the doorway, arms crossed, watching me. Dr Phil, is my wife a pervert?...


0 Comments, 149 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CYCLING   10/25/2012

I'm on a health kick, would have loved to have taken up cycling,

But couldn't afford the drugs!
...


0 Comments, 55 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
rm_phatwoody2 58 M
1  Article
IT'S CURTAIN,S FOR US ALL!!   10/24/2012

A woman makes a complaint, to consumer affairs.A door to door salesman sold us electronic levelor blinds, with remote, for our bedroom window.we loved em, &payed him &950.00. Agent: "nine hundred and fifty dollars ???WOW , he sure saw you coming, all the way down the street!So what is the problem? Woman: "all our neighbors, were at our front door today , complaining about the BLINDS!They're ...


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Can you get married in Heaven   10/24/2012

A young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside thePearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. When St. Peter arrived, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know.This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out” and ...


0 Comments, 165 Views, 17 Votes ,6.24 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Ah the wisdom of the ages   10/24/2012

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she ...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 8 Votes ,4.17 Score
southhills 42 M
1  Article
Beer vs Vagina   10/24/2012

Not sure I agree with this 100%... but kind of funny!

Beer vs. Vagina

1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA

3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to ...


2 Comments, 156 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
That is until the last meeting   10/24/2012

Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway hall meeting as long as there had been a hall. And every month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a prize in the monthly draw.

That is until the last meeting. Sven was the first one of the three to get his name drawn. He won two pounds of spaghetti sauce, four boxes of noodles, and three pounds of Swedish meatballs.

Ole ...


0 Comments, 86 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
JEHOVAH WITNESSES   10/23/2012

Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween.... Guess they don't like random strangers knocking on their doors...


2 Comments, 73 Views, 11 Votes ,5.04 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Jenny was the name of the    10/23/2012

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five ...


0 Comments, 182 Views, 7 Votes ,4.31 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE WOODEN BALL   10/22/2012

An old man walks into the barbershop for shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.

The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in ...


0 Comments, 89 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SVEN & OLE   10/22/2012

Advice from Sven & Ole: Limit all U.S. politicians to two terms: One in office; One in prison....


0 Comments, 45 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SENIOR ROAD TRIP   10/22/2012

While on a road trip, an elderly couple Stopped At a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, they left the Restaurant, and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly Left her glasses on the table, and she didn't Miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.

By then, to add to the aggravation, they Had to travel ...


0 Comments, 90 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
WISDOM   10/22/2012

"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom." -- H.L. Mencken

"Two teenage girls in Georgia robbed a bank. I have to say one thing. It's nice to see young women stealing money without the help of divorce lawyers." -- Craig Ferguson

"What they put women through today when they're having a baby! They don't want to medicate them, as ...


0 Comments, 70 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
HAVING A DRINK   10/22/2012

A wee guy was sitting at a bar staring at his drink for ages. Suddenly, a big biker came along, snatched his glass, guzzled down the contents and laughed, "Hah! So what you gonna do about that, little man?" "Nothing, " sighed the little guy despondently. "You see, today has been the worst day of my life. This morning I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss was furious and so ...


0 Comments, 90 Views, 5 Votes ,5.10 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CONFUCIUS DIDN'T SAY   10/22/2012

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's' leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money. ...


0 Comments, 65 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MOTHERS FROM HISTORY   10/22/2012

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other ? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S ...


0 Comments, 71 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
TWO BROOMS   10/22/2012

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned ...


0 Comments, 73 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CHURCH ORGANIST   10/22/2012

A small church had a very attractive big busted organist and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. So, one of the ladies approached her about the problem, and ...


0 Comments, 67 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Seriously Senior!   10/22/2012

ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING??

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets, ' said the at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve, ' was the reply.

'So I ...


0 Comments, 78 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Old Butch   10/22/2012

> This is not only a cute story, but who wouldn't love this absolutely > beautiful rooster, "Old Butch?" > > Old Butch > > > John was in the fertilized egg business. > He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets, ' and ten > roosters to fertilize the eggs. > > He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and > was replaced. > > This took a lot of time, so ...


0 Comments, 59 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING   10/22/2012

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"

THE ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
The Golf Cart   10/22/2012

One day a golfer accidentally overturned his cart.





Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay, what's your name?"





"It’s John, and I’m OK thanks, " he replied. "John, forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the ...


0 Comments, 97 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
And a Genie appeared   10/21/2012

A Mexican, a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand. He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.

"I can only grant four wishes, " the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece." Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first ...


0 Comments, 101 Views, 7 Votes ,4.82 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
JEWISH ELBOW   10/20/2012

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your ...


0 Comments, 99 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
SISTER MARY ANN   10/20/2012

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of petrol. As luck would have it, a petrol station was just up the road.

She walked to the station to borrow a can and buy some petrol. The attendant told her that the only can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. As Sister ...


0 Comments, 114 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
VIAGRA   10/19/2012

what happens when a lawyer takes viagra? they temporarilly grow taller


0 Comments, 77 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
POOR CHOICE OF SNACK   10/19/2012

Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, "Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.

About five minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CHARITY   10/19/2012

A local Charity office realized that the organization had never received a from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500, 000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer ...


0 Comments, 80 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
BURY IT ALL   10/18/2012

I walked into a bedroom and caught my nan sucking granddads cock, I said "nan that's disgusting." She said "Its perfectly normal." I said "No, its wrong. You should have buried it with the rest of him."...


0 Comments, 64 Views, 5 Votes ,0.86 Score
wannatry4sum 61 C
12  Articles
Female Hormones and Beer   10/18/2012

Scientists have revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists gave 100 men 24 bottles of beer each.

The scientists observed that 100% of the male test group gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive.


4 Comments, 158 Views, 16 Votes ,4.89 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE LONE RANGER   10/17/2012

So the Lone Ranger and Tonto are sitting in in a saloon in some podunk town having a drink when one of the local cowboys comes swaggering in and yells "Hey! Who owns that big white out front?" The Lone Ranger jumps up and goes "I do, why?" The cowboy goes "man, that thing's about dead out there!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto go rushing out and sure enough, Silver is passed out on the ...


0 Comments, 74 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
wannatry4sum 61 C
12  Articles
Jesus and the Democrat   10/15/2012

A Republican man in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon

and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. He looked across the

restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"





The waitress nodded "yes, " so the Republican requested that she give

Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.





The next patron to come ...


2 Comments, 120 Views, 14 Votes ,5.06 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
2 SISTERS ARRIVE IN ENGLAND   10/14/2012

Two Muslim sisters, Meenah and Neenah, have just arrived in London. On arrival they spot a hot-vendor. Meenah says to Neenah, "Look, people in this country eat dogs."

"Odd!" says Neenah, "but if we shall live in England, we might as well do as the English do."

Nodding, they walk towards the hot vendor.

"Two dogs, please, " says Neenah.

The vendor wraps two ...


0 Comments, 131 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THOSE DAMN REMOTE CONTROLS   10/14/2012

I was wanking on my sofa last night, when suddenly I heard my wife coming down the stairs.

I quickly grabbed the remote control and tried switching the channel, but unfortunately the batteries were dead.

So without any hesitation at all, I put my cock away and sat there acting normal.

That's when she walked in, looked at the tv screen and said, "Why the fuck are you ...


0 Comments, 98 Views, 6 Votes ,0.23 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE PIANIST   10/14/2012

There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead.

He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before."

The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on my way to find a job."

The owner asks, "What do you do?"

The guy says, "I ...


0 Comments, 93 Views, 6 Votes ,0.23 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
LEARN TO FLY   10/13/2012

A C-130 was in rout to a mission when a cocky F-16 pilot flew up next to him.

The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot "watch this!" He went into a barrel roll followed by a steap climb then finished with a sonic boom when he reached the speed of sound.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought.

The C-130 pilot responded "that was impressive, but watch this." ...


1 Comments, 111 Views, 10 Votes ,1.99 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
JOB INTERVIEW   10/13/2012

A Navy SEAL, Army Ranger and Marine Force Recon are trying out for a special assignment for the CIA.

They get to the final step and the instructor takes them one at a time to a passageway outside of a small room.

He hands the Seal a loaded handgun and says: "Inside this room is a high risk to national security. Your mission is to eliminate them no matter who it is. The SEAL ...


0 Comments, 104 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THE MISSION   10/13/2012

There was a Navy Seal and an Army Ranger and a Marine. They we're on a recon mission and the Navy Seal gave away they're position and were all captured by a cannibalistic tribe. The chief of the tribe came to them and said I will let you decide how you will leave this world but know this I will use your skin to make my canoe.

Well the Seal comes up and pulls out his trusty knife and ...


0 Comments, 74 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
"Men.......Always Treat The Woman Correctly"   10/12/2012

A woman drives home really fast one early evening, almost breaking the speed limit at times, so intent was she to arrive as soon as possible.

She runs through the door and yells.....

"Honey, pack your your bags, I've won the lottery".

He yells back "Oh My God, what shall I bring, beach stuff stuff, mountain stuff, hot weather, cold weather ?".

She replies "It ...


0 Comments, 157 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
THE PERFECT HUSBAND   10/11/2012

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2, 000; is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: ...


1 Comments, 151 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
's Purse   10/11/2012

One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their 's purses.

So, the brunette goes through her 's purse and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My smokes."

So, the redhead goes through her 's purse and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My drinks."

So, finally, it's the blondes turn and she finds a ...


0 Comments, 168 Views, 7 Votes ,1.00 Score
Breast ID System   10/11/2012

(o)(o) perfect breasts

( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) high nipple breasts

(@)(@) big nipple breasts (you know who you are)



oo a cups

{ O }{ O } d cups

(oYo) wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^) cold breasts

(o)( lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q) pierced breasts

(p)(p) breasts w/hanging tassels

...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
A couple of shots   10/11/2012

There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.

The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"

The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."

The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.

The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"

The man says, "I found out that my ...


0 Comments, 147 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Lettuce and Tomato   10/11/2012

One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"

So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"

Suddenly the younger brother (on ...


1 Comments, 129 Views, 11 Votes ,2.23 Score
Longest Scream   10/11/2012

Three friends decided to bet each other $100 on who could make their wives scream more from sex.

They all go home to have sex with their wives and make them scream.

The next day the meet. The first friend says, "I made love to my wife for 2 hours and she was screaming for at least 1 1/2 hours."

The second friend says, "That's nothing, I start licking my wife for two ...


0 Comments, 124 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
pack up   10/11/2012

Woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband, "Sam, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!"

"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" "Whatever. Just so you're out of the house by noon!"


0 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Mommy's Balloons   10/11/2012

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are ...


0 Comments, 147 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
The cat and the sausage   10/11/2012

A cat is walking along the river, when it sees a cocktail sausage floating in the water. It jumps in to get the sausage and gets its paws wet.

The next day its walking down the river again when it sees a jumbo sausage in the river, it jumps in to get it and gets its legs wet.

The next day it walks down the river and sees a huge Cumberland sausage. It jumps in to get it and its ...


0 Comments, 83 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
Making Cakes   10/11/2012

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her ...


1 Comments, 103 Views, 9 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CAPITALIZATION   10/9/2012

And today's lesson is... Capitalization

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, texting, and tweeting I've noticed that more and more young people are sending messages and emails while completely ignoring the art of capitalization. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement. "Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off ...


1 Comments, 107 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MIDGET   10/9/2012

Hear about the Midget that went into a gay bar, kisses every guy in joint....


1 Comments, 107 Views, 8 Votes
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
Confucius says...   10/9/2012

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for ...


1 Comments, 69 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
JOSE   10/9/2012

Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What's in the bags?" "Senior, It's only sand." replies Jose.

"Sand??? Well, we'll just see about that - get off the bike!"

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is ...


2 Comments, 111 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
CHURCH   10/9/2012

The boy arrived late for Sunday school. His teacher knew that he was always very conscientious and asked if something were wrong. He told his father that he wanted to go fishing but his father said that he should come to church.

The teacher was very impressed and asked if his father explained to him why he should come to church rather than to go catch fish.

"Yes, ma'am, " ...


1 Comments, 101 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
Quick Joke 4 U   10/8/2012

Question: What did the penis say to the condom? Answer: Cover me im going in!...


0 Comments, 38 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
"African Roulette" .....   10/8/2012

The Ambassador of a small African nation made a visit to Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian Ambassador.

For three days the African was wined and dined and treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the final day of his visit, the Russian said "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian ...


0 Comments, 130 Views, 11 Votes ,3.17 Score
"Who Enjoys Sex The Most ?" ....   10/8/2012

A male and female are in a bar, and over a few drinks are debating the age old subject of Sex, and who gets the most pleasure from it.



He says "Men obviously enjoy sex more, why do you think we are constantly obsessed with getting laid ?".



She says "That proves nothing, think about this".........



"When your ear itches, and you put your finger ...


0 Comments, 131 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
rotn2dacore 69 M
11  Articles
Little Old Lady   10/8/2012

A little old lady goes to the dentist one day. She enters the exam room, takes off her pants and throws her legs in the air. The dentist says, "Maam, I'm a dentist not a gynecologist." She says, "I know. I'm here to get my husbands teeth back."


0 Comments, 110 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
I didn’t know Maxine was in to politics   10/7/2012

I didn’t know Maxine was in to politics.

On Obama..

It seems that once again all us white folks have missed a great opportunity. While the black people attended Obama's campaign rallies, we should have broken into their homes and gotten all our shit back.


1 Comments, 103 Views, 16 Votes ,2.39 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
UNGRATEFUL!!!   10/7/2012

SOMETIMES PEOPLE YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP JUST ARE UNGRATEFUL!!!





HERE’S A GOOD EXAMPLE…………………….



Today I had to go to Sears. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space. I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available. The driver looked puzzled, rolled down ...


3 Comments, 115 Views, 13 Votes
"Heavenly Balloons" ....   10/5/2012

One evening a little boy walked into his parent's bathroom as his Mother was coming out of the shower.

Pointing to her breasts, he asked "Mummy, what are those things ?".

Feeling somewhat awkward, she said "Why don't you ask Daddy in the morning when you see him" hoping he would forget.

But he did not. In the morning he told his Father what had happened and again asked ...


0 Comments, 129 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
HUBBY DIED   10/4/2012

A woman called her doctor and told him she was concerned because her husband was eating food all the time. The doctor told her not to worry, the food was nutricous and he would get tired of it after a while. Three weeks later she called the Doc and was hysterical on the phone. "Doctor my husband just died." The doctor was horrified, thinking 'malpractice, malpractice' He asked her, "Don't tell ...


3 Comments, 168 Views, 11 Votes ,2.61 Score
"Politics Explained" ....   10/4/2012

A small boy goes to his Father and asks "What is Politics ?"



The Father replies. "Well , let me try and explain it this way... I'm the breadwinner of the family, so lets call me Capitalism... Your Mother, she is the administrator of the money, so we will call her the Government... We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People... Our Home Help, we will ...


0 Comments, 112 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
"The Numbers Game" ....   10/4/2012

An accountant, aged 54, sends a fax to his wife.



"Dear Wife, by the time you read I will be on my way to The Grand Hotel with my very attractive 18yr old secretary".



When he got to the hotel, he was handed a fax upon checking in, which read.



"Dear Husband, as you know, I too am 54 years of age, and by the time you read this I will be at The ...


0 Comments, 138 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
For thinkers   10/4/2012

The great philospher and mathematician, Renee Descartes walks into a bar and sits down on a stool.

The bartender asks him is he wants a beer.

Descartes says, "I think not." And with that he disappears.


1 Comments, 111 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
CONDOM HISTORY   10/3/2012

Do you know why sheep herders wear kilts?











Sheep can hear zippers.

________________________________________

CONDOM HISTORY





In 1272, the Arabic Islamic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.





In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the ...


0 Comments, 83 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Decisions, decisions   10/3/2012

Decisions, decisions





An old man was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get - Parkinsons or Alzheimer's ?"



The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinsons. Better to spill half an ounce of Scotch than to forget where you keep the bottle!"


0 Comments, 90 Views, 1 Votes ,3.70 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Government work   10/3/2012

A guy stopped at a local gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside.

One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on.

The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 ...


0 Comments, 131 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
"The Octopus" .......   9/29/2012

A Man walks into a pub with an Octopus under his arm. He sits it on the bar and pulls up a stool and sits down.

After he orders a drink he stands up again and loudly announces across the pub.

"I bet anyone in here £100 that this Octopus can play any instrument put in front of it".

Not one customer believed it, and for some time nobody responded.

But then a ...


1 Comments, 153 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
"The Ranch Hand" ....   9/29/2012

A successful Rancher died and left everything to his devoted Wife. She was a good looking Woman, and was determined to keep the ranch. But as she knew very little about ranching she decided to put an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.



Two Men applied for the job. One was gay and the other was a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when nobody else applied, she ...


1 Comments, 180 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
"Be Careful What You Name Your " ....   9/26/2012

Four Mothers with their were attending a group therapy session.



The Pychologist addressed each Mother one by one.

To the 1st he said "you are obsessed with food, that is why you named your Candy".

To the 2nd he said "you are obsessed with money, that is why you named you Penny".

To the 3rd he said "you are obsessed with alcohol, that is why you ...


1 Comments, 173 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
"A Woman's Dilemma" ....   9/26/2012

If a Woman finds it difficult watching a Man masturbate, then should she....



A/ ... Spend more time doing it herself to get in touch with her own sexuality ?



B/ ... Spend more time with her partner discussing openly and experimenting sexually ?



C/ ... Sit somewhere else on the train ?


0 Comments, 150 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
"A Recent Blow Job Survey" .....   9/26/2012

A recent survey on why Men liked Blow Jobs produced the following results...



10% liked the Feeling.



12% liked the Dominance.



78% liked the Silence.


1 Comments, 158 Views, 13 Votes ,3.65 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
DOCTORS AND THE UNEMPLOYED   9/25/2012

An Israeli doctor says, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor says, "That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor says. "In my country, medicine is so advanced ...


4 Comments, 149 Views, 12 Votes ,3.15 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
FAVOR   9/25/2012

Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?"

His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."

Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it ...


3 Comments, 141 Views, 10 Votes ,0.60 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
TWO IRISHMEN   9/25/2012

Two Irishmen were walking home after a night on the town and the beer, when a severed head rolls along the ground.

Mick picked it up to his face and said to Paddy, "Does that look like Sean to you?"

Paddy replied, "Nah, Sean was taller than that."
...


3 Comments, 137 Views, 8 Votes ,1.62 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
DOPEY AND THE POPE   9/25/2012

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says, "Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!" Everyone gets all excited and chants, "We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him."

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying, "Go ...


3 Comments, 121 Views, 8 Votes ,1.39 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
THRIFT   9/25/2012

A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform, marches into a pharmacy. Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds - to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it. The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically. "How much to repair it?" The Scot asks the ...


1 Comments, 108 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
PADDY & MICK   9/25/2012

Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks about Mick. The nurse says, Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Paddy couldn't believe it, but here's Mick out the back ...


2 Comments, 107 Views, 5 Votes ,0.86 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
KNOCK AT THE DOOR   9/25/2012

A muslim woman came knocking on my door earlier today.

I didn't open it- just looked through the letterbox.

Let's see how she fucking likes it!
...


3 Comments, 117 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
Bump144 72 M
823  Articles
MY GRANDDAD   9/25/2012

My grandad said "It's going to be hot this weekend.

I said "Tell me something I don't know!"

Grandad replied "Your Nana's arse can take my whole fist."
...


1 Comments, 84 Views, 5 Votes ,0.53 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Ole and Lars   9/25/2012

Ole and Lars were looking at a Sears Minnesota catalog and admiring the models.

Ole says to Lars, “Haff yew seen da beautiful girls in dis catalog?”

Lars replies, “Ya, dey are very beautiful. And look at da price!”

Ole says, with wide eyes, “Wow, dey aren't verra expensive. At dis price, I'm buying vun.”

Lars smiles and pats him on the back. “Good ...


1 Comments, 102 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Like everything in life   9/25/2012

Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that’s “Silent But Deadly” for you ...


2 Comments, 116 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Car broke down   9/23/2012

A woman from Minnesota was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.

An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills ...


0 Comments, 165 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
What do they need at home   9/23/2012

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the what do they need at home. 1st says "A computer". Teacher replies "That'd be very useful." 2nd says "A new lawn mower" and gets a similar response. Little Johnny pops up and says: " At my house we don't need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something. Little Johnny replies, "Nope I'm sure! When my ...


0 Comments, 169 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
" Life--Like Sex--Needs To Be Laughed At " ...   9/22/2012

Man goes to a Doctor "Doctor, I have this problem, one day I think I'm a teepee and the next day I think I'm a wigwam". The Doctor replies "your problem is you are too tense".



Sad News. The manager of my local cinema passed away. His funeral will be next Tuesday at 3.20pm, 5.40pm and 8.30pm.



A Man in a bar says to a Woman "you know something, drinking makes ...


0 Comments, 85 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
" Sex.--Like Life--Needs To Be Laughed At " ...   9/21/2012

An Irishman comes home very late and very drunk. His angry wife is up waiting for him. She says "Okay smarty, explain the lipstick on your shirt". He replies "Easy, I used it to wipe my cock".



What do Men and floor tiles have in common ? If you lay them properly, they can be walked over for years.



Why is a Gynecologist the only person on earth who seems to find ...


0 Comments, 115 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
Top ten tips to know if you have PMS   9/20/2012

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

5. Everyone's head looks ...


1 Comments, 75 Views, 6 Votes ,1.66 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
You know   9/20/2012

Philosophical Discussion

Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the Nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than ...


0 Comments, 95 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M
2172  Articles
A man was riding his Harley   9/19/2012

A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

God replied, "Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous ...


1 Comments, 135 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score