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gattomonstrosis 55 M
2  Articles
English Translations   6/7/2007

Women's English: -----------------

1 Yes = No 2 No = Yes 3 Maybe = No 4 I'm sorry = You'll be sorry 5 We need = I want 6 It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now 7 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later 8 We need to talk = I need to complain 9 Sure go ahead = I don't want you to 10 I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! 11 You're so manly ...

2 Comments, 88 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
rm_liz3120072 48 F
6  Articles
Words of wisdom on the concept of marriage!   6/2/2007

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. ********** At a cocktail party, one women said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." ********** A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted" Next day she received a hundred letter's. They all said the same ...

4 Comments, 212 Views, 16 Votes ,4.01 Score
Swankie57 65 M
50  Articles
Pre Relationship Agreement!   4/12/2007

P R E - R E L A T I O N S H I P A G R E E M E N T On this _____day of ______, 2007, the party of the first part___________________________ (herein referred to as "She"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part _________________________(herein referred to as "He"): I. 1. FULL DISCLOSURE 1.1 At the commencement of said relationship ...

5 Comments, 255 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
XG35 55 M
4  Articles
New Tax for 2007...   4/8/2007

New 2007 Tax
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around. Unemployed 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole.
On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts! HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2007, the penis will now be taxed ...

0 Comments, 56 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
nightimesmile 42 M
1  Article
finding friends on AdultFriendFinder   4/3/2007

i don't know if it's just me but i always thought it weird to see friends on sites like AdultFriendFinder...but the other day i skimmed across a picture that was really familiar and lo and behold it was a friend of mine trying to have some fun on the web... i messaged her and she was appalled that i found her on here. after talking on the phone we agreed to get together and ...

1 Comments, 173 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
rm_u4617031 39 M
1  Article
Meet You in Heaven   3/14/2007

After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her -- "Hello" "How are you! We've been waiting for you!" "Good ...

2 Comments, 208 Views, 9 Votes ,5.99 Score
3  Articles
I WISH   2/17/2007


3 Comments, 244 Views, 12 Votes ,2.09 Score
blackstar122006 46 M
10  Articles
what is the real definition of a booty call?   2/3/2007

To me it is a one time thing...but what happens when it is a recurring thing?

1 Comments, 109 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
Just a funny thing that happened to me.   1/10/2007

My boyfriend and I were having sex one night at my place and I was on top. It was going real good when all of a sudden he was like oh shit get off and pushed me, well I fell off the bed and started cracking up, and he yelled... I look up, and his jizz flew into his mouth... that's why he yelled and shit. It was just a funny experience I thought I could share.

3 Comments, 537 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
bikerboy71000 55 M
2  Articles
condoms safe ??   1/8/2007

Condoms are not as safe as people seem to think.
My mate had a condom on and he got hit by a bus !!...

0 Comments, 69 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
bikerboy71000 55 M
2  Articles
My wifes new car   1/8/2007

My wife dont like the new car i just got her for christmas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She says she wants something that goes fr 0 - 160 in 3 seconds So Ime buying the fat cunt some bathroon scales

1 Comments, 161 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
restlessvixon50 41 F
15  Articles
Cock Tales   1/2/2007

Sheila was laying on the sofa with a cool damp cloth covering her eyes when the phone rang. It was her friend, Jim, calling to see how her afternoon was going. "Hey Baby, How are you?", he shouted. Jim always shouted. He was bouncy and exuberant and was the perfect person to sell real estate to wealthy yuppies, which is what he did during the day. At night, he sang three times a week with a ...

4 Comments, 436 Views, 18 Votes ,5.44 Score
rm_BlqCuban 58 M
5  Articles
ARE YOU OBSESSED?   12/31/2006

Ever since Eve convinced Adam that it was better "her way, " certain women have had an extraordinary power over men. Samson allowed his mighty strength to wane for a flirtatious Delilah, Mark Anthony risked the wrath of Caesar and all of Rome for Cleopatra's attention, and who could forget that, it was for the love of Guenevere that the perfect friendship ...

1 Comments, 83 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
bi_ga_stud2007 46 M
20  Articles
crazy stuff   12/18/2006

hey there i had a exgrilfreind that said here botfreind use a a potato on her that crazy

0 Comments, 142 Views, 3 Votes ,0.49 Score
bigorgasmlicker 41 M
10  Articles
Don't you just love it when...   12/17/2006

your lady friend keeps queefing so much that eventually she starts laughing!!!!
It's a real trip, that pussy gets so much exercise that it doesn't know if the dick is coming or going!
All the time I'm stuffing more and more air into it!
Fun times!

2 Comments, 135 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
bigorgasmlicker 41 M
10  Articles
She Called Me "The Doodler"   12/17/2006

I had a college girlfriend who was the most orgasmic squirter I've ever seen. At the same time, I could shoot a load four or five feet as well.
Eventually I was named, "The Doodler"!

0 Comments, 56 Views, 1 Votes
rm_Milomomo1900 36 M
2  Articles
What guys think   12/10/2006

I keep seeing this post flying around about all the nice guys left in the world. The post seems sweet and all. Sounds like there are some girls out there who seem to really appreciate the nice guys of the world…but C'MON!!! Most of these thought aren't even finished… Now don't go thinking I am Jaded or anything…I prefer to think of it as I am a realist. Reality is, ...

0 Comments, 74 Views, 0 Votes
LV30somethings 51 C
4  Articles
Blazing Vaginas   12/5/2006

I remember it like it was yesterday....
My wife (Mrs. 30somethings) and I were enjoying "The company of others" in front of a very enthusiastic audience. The young lady I was with, was very receptive to my advances (She was buns up kneelin' and I was a wheelin' and a dealin')
During the course of the thrusting I pulled just a little too far out and low and ...

1 Comments, 307 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
rm_chocolate21 33 F
6  Articles
Men and Fragrances   11/28/2006

What's up with men being obsessed with fruity type fragrances on a woman. I know that like to keep a nice size collection of body oils and sprays. My regular oils, my man doesn't notice most of them except for maybe a couple, but all the ones that smell sort of "fruity" or "citrusy", almost as soon as I walk in a room, he gets a whiff and wants to instantly "jump my bones"! That is so ...

0 Comments, 57 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
HOTEL FUNNNN   11/27/2006

My husband and I went on a little outing recently. We decided to set up our first 3-some with another man.. So off we go to the big city, we made hotel registrations at one of the top hotels, we check in and decided to get all decked out to go on our date which was our first 3-some date... so we went out and waited for our 3rd party to show after no such luck "we were stood up" we walked ...

7 Comments, 461 Views, 24 Votes ,5.74 Score
rm_lilkeeper 53 F
1  Article
Choice...   11/23/2006

You chose to give a woman pleasure. The woman would not leave your mind. She haunted your dreams. She came into your thoughts. You came back to take another look. To see if she was as sweet as you remembered. She was. She gave you a moment of pleasure. She made her desires known. She opened her arms for your embrace. Her lips welcomed your kisses. Her tongue danced with ...

0 Comments, 85 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
restlessin17241 55 M
7  Articles
why is a bride always smiling   11/16/2006

Q; why is a bride always smiling as she walks down the aisle? A; she knows she doesn't have to give anymore blowjobs

2 Comments, 162 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
restlessin17241 55 M
7  Articles
future   11/16/2006

Q; how do you know your man is thinking about your futue? A; he asks you to buy him 2 cases of beer instead of one.

0 Comments, 59 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
red_bone_xxx 39 M
8  Articles
I"m going to jump out the window...   10/27/2006

Man o man...relationships are enough to make a person want to jump out the window...The stress and work to keep it together and the energy to keep the "knife" in the drawer. I'm not byass to I have to say for both sexes that we can really get on each others nerves. I'm pretty sure we have all had those days in which we wish we were single and free ha..but i tell ...

0 Comments, 37 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Phantasymal 40 M
7  Articles
Near Drowning Experience   10/23/2006

If youve ever given a squirter / gusher oral while under her you know what Im bout to say.
Once, and just once bout 3 years back I was giving oral to this one incredibly slim girl, had to be 130 lb with A-Cups and a certain level of kinkyness for tongues...
Well I was going down on her while she positioned herself on my face, and after the first or second time she ...

4 Comments, 256 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
Phantasymal 40 M
7  Articles
Complete Off!!!   10/23/2006

Ever had one of those relationships that seems like you couldnt be anymore apart from eachother, but personality wise or appearance wise your linked in a way you cant really describe?
Ive seen so many people that I have attractions with that dont seem to fit the bill so to speak and its starting to get weird... Normally I like people that are generally tall, creative, and ...

0 Comments, 46 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score
Phantasymal 40 M
7  Articles
Bending over backwards   10/23/2006

It seems my life is full of humorous events, one such that is kinda funny to hear is my experience with a Judo instructor. I had just gotten out of a relationship with one of my best friends, who now is married to my other best friend a little ackward but to each his or her own I guess. Well here I am single again for about a year, and my ex-girlfriend hooks me up with this girl she met at ...

0 Comments, 71 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
"First Time Sex" with "First Wife"   10/20/2006

This happened when I was dating my first wife. In Beaumont, Tx back in the sixties (before and after) people would go "parking" in the boonies. The boonies were secluded areas off some of the country roads where oil drilling had been done and a wellhead was put in place. There were ideal places to be "alone" because they were a graveled cul-du-sac so you could turn around and didn't get ...

1 Comments, 254 Views, 10 Votes ,5.18 Score
killakelli 124 M
5  Articles
50 THINGS GIRLS WISH GUYS KNEW...   10/18/2006

1. dont tell us when you think other girls are hot. 2. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 3. if you dont act like soap-opera guys, dont expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models. 4. mark anniversaries on a calendar. 5. there is no such thing as too much spooning. 6. we think about you all the time. 7. this is how we see it . . . Don't ...

4 Comments, 533 Views, 43 Votes ,6.64 Score
rm_icuyumyum 63 M
9  Articles
In the rain   10/17/2006

I few years ago I had a girl friend that her favorite place to have sex was in the rain. She loved the rain. After we were done she would run around naked in it and get off again. Has anyone else experienced this?

0 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
rm__seth01 48 M
6  Articles
women..   10/13/2006

guys... hit it.. what level of age of women do you guys love to have sex with?

1 Comments, 96 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_chocolate21 33 F
6  Articles
Having to pee really bad during sex   10/11/2006

Don't you just hate it when you could be lying in bed asleep, or just coming home after a hard day at work, or your man/woman is just being spontaneous at the time? He/She decides that they want a sample. Then all of a sudden it hits you that you haven't been to the bathroom in a few hours and natures calling, but the sex is so good that you don't want to stop! Has this ever happened to ...

2 Comments, 199 Views, 12 Votes ,4.57 Score
BobbyNbobbiejoan 48 C
2  Articles
Our first date that ended in us getting thrown out of the mall   10/10/2006

A little over a year ago my fiancee and i had our first real date. At the time i was staying with friends with a in the house i couldnt take him back there for us to fool around so we went to the mall parking lot and thought we were secluded enough that no one would notice us. At the time neither of us thought of the time either. Right in the middle of me giving him a bj a mall security ...

0 Comments, 174 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
kibblesnbits4 39 C
1  Article
Accidental Anal!   10/6/2006

Has anyone (women) ever been accidently rammed in the ass while having fast hot and hard sex?

11 Comments, 566 Views, 20 Votes ,4.66 Score
rm_larmorg 49 M
9  Articles
Found in the Classified Ads...   10/2/2006

Recently found in the Classified ads:
Post Date: Aug 7th, 2006 Expire Date: Sept 6th, 2006 Asking Price: $10, 000
06' Suzuki GSXR 1000 - This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500 mile dealer service. (Expensive) It's been adult ridden, all wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a cruiser/commuter. ...

2 Comments, 200 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
rm_ous16 39 F
10  Articles
The Things That Make Me Feel Good   9/25/2006

1.Falling/Being in love. 2.Laughing so hard your face hurts. 3.A hot shower. 4.No lines at the supermarket. 5.A special glance. 6.Getting mail. 7.Taking a drive on a pretty road. 8.Hearing your favourite song on the radio. 9.Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. 10.Hot towels fresh out of the dryer. 11.Chocolate milkshake... (or vanilla... or strawberry!) 12.A bubble ...

1 Comments, 76 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
rm_ous16 39 F
10  Articles
When a girl misses you...   9/25/2006

When you break a girls heart, she still feels it when you run into eachother 3 years later

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she ...

0 Comments, 90 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score
rm_ous16 39 F
10  Articles
When a guy misses you...   9/25/2006

When a guy calls u he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes, he means it

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do?


1 Comments, 96 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
the in law's thanks   9/18/2006

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband ...

2 Comments, 356 Views, 17 Votes ,5.53 Score
Ten commandments( of marriage)   9/16/2006

The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 ...

2 Comments, 251 Views, 13 Votes ,5.16 Score
the perfect match ?   9/16/2006

A person visited the matchmaker agency SDU for marriage, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. ...

0 Comments, 113 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
mis trust   9/16/2006

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
See the follwing stories to understand more ----------------------------------------- A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone ...

0 Comments, 60 Views, 5 Votes ,1.51 Score
Pick-up Lines   9/4/2006

You know those cheesy pick-up lines that have mixed results? Well, lets share a few of them. Post your lamest/coolest/best pick-up lines here for all to read. Perhaps you can help some guy *cough* get a little success
I would post one, but all I can think of at the moment are the stereotypical overused ones...

0 Comments, 209 Views, 9 Votes ,1.29 Score
its great to laugh   9/4/2006

theres nothing like a relation where you can be serious and have a good sence of humor to it makes things great and can be very relaxing

0 Comments, 25 Views, 1 Votes
johnjuan3 58 M
1  Article
good or bad   8/29/2006

is it more fun to be good at being bad, as well as being bad at being good,

0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
rm_quietman6706 56 M
2  Articles
First date   8/25/2006

How I Entertain a New Date:
I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner. After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten. I got out my trusty case of MRE's (Meal, Ready-to-Eat). Field rations that ...

2 Comments, 131 Views, 12 Votes ,3.15 Score
rm_supotme1 43 M
3  Articles
When I Close My Eyes..   8/17/2006

Crimson angles and delicate wings take me for a ride threw my mystical dreams. Over the rivers of moonlight gazes, Dancing fairies covet the fields of angelic daisies. On top of the mountains with sand of gold. Raindrops from Jupiter a mirror effect. Follow the footsteps from the enchanted moon goddess. Listen to the harps and mellow relaxing wind chimes. Forever lost in a peace of ...

0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
lickitanloveit 37 F
1  Article
what it do   8/14/2006

hay i can say im a pretty nice girl, i havent meet any for-real people on just lookin to hook up with a few bad bitchz, an some big dick men, that know how to put it down on a horny ass black that really 2 much 2 ask 4??aint tis what this place is 4.

1 Comments, 132 Views, 10 Votes ,3.98 Score
AlphaSheWolf1 63 F
1  Article
The Closet   8/14/2006

I've put My slave in the closet for the afternoon while I take My nap. W/we've had O/our dinner and he's cleaned up.
I had him affix a set of wooden sitting stocks to the wall of said closet at a height that causes him to have to sit cross-legged with his arms resting on his elbows to be comfortable. I covered his head with a full, vinyl, hot horsehead mask with breathing ...

0 Comments, 55 Views, 0 Votes
8  Articles
King David the Jolly and Princess Tiffani   8/12/2006

The Zoo.

A King David and Princess Tiffani story,

There exists a myth, a twisted moral tale, all but lost in the mists of time. A thousand years ago, The moon was waning as the day began. It was spring. An a warm snap had made its presence known to all. King David the Jolly decided to take Princess Tiffani to the zoo. ...

0 Comments, 76 Views, 6 Votes ,1.66 Score
rm_Nitrowom 37 M
12  Articles
SuperMan   8/5/2006

women should understand that man need love beside sex.... can't be your Superman who give afuck only
bitches, they come they stays onlyyy

0 Comments, 106 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
RandyH69 61 M
10  Articles
Good Bars   8/4/2006

A Scotsman, American, and an Irishman are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place.
Then the Scotsman says, 'Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Glasgow, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!' The others agree that sounds like a good ...

0 Comments, 229 Views, 13 Votes ,5.83 Score
lexsmoke78 45 M
9  Articles
Relationship Humor   7/26/2006

Relationship humor is important because who wants somebody who is dull and listless.I might think the wrong things about that person.So keeping humor in the relationship really is the best way to build a lasting foundation. Plus if you get the opposite sex to laugh at something you did or said is the first step any way, in my book.Communication is the key.

0 Comments, 130 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
lexsmoke78 45 M
9  Articles
It pays to be yourself   7/25/2006

Most women are attracted to men who are not nice.Know why?Because they are really themselves.Thats why I took me so long to get with a woman.I was 16 when I lost mine but at least I waited.Most of my friends were fathers at 16.Anyway my point is to be yourself and act a fool if you have to but dont get arrested.Lets face it women have a strong hold even if her well you know what ...

0 Comments, 164 Views, 0 Votes
masturbation   7/20/2006

is it bad to think a bout other women when having sex

0 Comments, 317 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
rm_SquirtSage 40 M
2  Articles
Darts and Ass magic   7/10/2006

I and some friends were drinking in a local bar and throwing darts one night recently and we were shooting Cricket getting a lil tipsy It was all tied up 1 game a piece and my wife and I had taken a large early lead in the 3rd game. After this the shots started to come into play Grandma, Jager, SHlager and so on and so forth til basically the wife and I had lost focus on the game when I ...

0 Comments, 460 Views, 10 Votes ,2.39 Score
hornygarda 37 M
2  Articles
A joke   7/9/2006

What combination of three two letter words means small? "Is it in"

0 Comments, 707 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
rm_tan_ka_milan 53 M
3  Articles
I'm a virgin and I don't know   6/29/2006

The bride tells her husband The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you
know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will
call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the
prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the ...

2 Comments, 847 Views, 40 Votes ,5.39 Score
rm_Edge357 53 M
2  Articles
I want a girl who ...   6/5/2006

I want a girl who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit, but does know the meaning of most other words. I want a woman who understands spontaneous passion, can thrill to dizzy sudden sex (while keeping her balance), and who understands that we probably would not be allowed to shop at that grocery store ever again. (“Mommy, why is that woman snorting like a rhino?” ...

2 Comments, 376 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
sexyhotboy4upune 45 M
1  Article
sexual fantasies of women   5/31/2006

It shouldn't be surprising that women have fantasies too. Sometimes, they are more sexual than ours. In this article we will discuss the top ten fantasies that women have. You will want to print this one out for future reference.
Here we go, please pay attention! Having sex with strangers: This might sound odd, but women fantasize about this as well. Having sex with a complete ...

1 Comments, 462 Views, 11 Votes ,3.35 Score
So many Chatty Kathy's   5/24/2006

Everytime I think I meet someone on-line that is going to have amazing sex with me, they just want to talk dirty with instant messanger. Don't get me wrong, I've loved it all, but want some real sex.

0 Comments, 59 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
rm_roads4me 62 M
5  Articles
PARTYTIME   5/24/2006

I thought for my first party i'd get an even number of both sexes together with your own thoughts and fettishes, as well as sexual needs. The erotic side of it is that there could be a lot of people who are meeting for the first time, or there could be small groups of people turning up together.So on the 10th of June, (a saturday) we will have this get together and see what happens. I now ...

0 Comments, 72 Views, 0 Votes
thelongandhard1 41 M
2  Articles
You just don't know what I will do to you....   5/11/2006

You have a cute______. You make me _______. You should _______. Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________ under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.
Love, ...

0 Comments, 62 Views, 6 Votes ,1.66 Score
My truck got some action   5/9/2006

I walked to the grocery store yesterday hoping to stretch my legs instead of driving there. I come back about 3 hours later to find that my next-door neighbor is sitting in my truck, inside my garage, with the gear shifter up her pussy. I almost died fucking laughing at that point, except that she then bent over and asked for it up the ass... what a great day.

0 Comments, 178 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
1Brazilianguy2u 56 M
20  Articles

O Joãozinho entra no quarto e pega o pai colocando uma camisinha > Muito embaraçado, o pai tenta esconder a ereção e a camisinha, e vai se > abaixando na cama. > Joãozinho diz: O que você está fazendo, papai? > O pai responde: Eu acho que eu vi um rato embaixo da cama. > Joãozinho retruca: E o que você vai fazer, comer o cu dele?

0 Comments, 48 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
herotherside 39 F
10  Articles
GIMME BACK MY CHI!!!   4/12/2006

C stayed with me last night. He got up early as usual to head off to work. I never felt him get out of bed, so I looked at him funny when he came to kiss me goodbye trying to figure out why he was dressed. I got out of bed about an hour after he left, went online for a few hours to sort out files, cleaned up just a little (didn't have to much motivation in this department today) and then ...

2 Comments, 347 Views, 19 Votes ,2.20 Score
rm_jamesm19101 33 M
10  Articles
Relationship Humor   3/26/2006

To me there is nothing better than when you and your partner have the same sense of humor. It makes conversations alot easier, so there's no awkward silence, and when you do something stupid, you both can just laugh about it. I'm sure we've all came across something during our sex lives that you thought was funny, but didn't want to laugh because you were afraid to embarass your partner. ...

0 Comments, 492 Views, 5 Votes ,1.51 Score
LOVE   3/23/2006

If love is a flower, let it grow if love is a tree, let me know if love is a forrest, taking over the world take me in your branches, away from here take me to somewhere love doesnt exist

0 Comments, 33 Views, 3 Votes
Kaya_Bear 37 M
4  Articles
I Am Hung   3/16/2006

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my woman mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am.
That’s why she cuts the grass".

3 Comments, 626 Views, 29 Votes ,4.64 Score
TurnLock 63 M
4  Articles
Fantasy Lover - First Date   3/16/2006

My Fantasy Lover/First date
I want to come home and find you in my bedroom, with a sexy nightie on. Despite the fact that I never gave you a key and the place was well locked up. You were on Oprah’s show about Sex maniacs and had over 80 clicks on your belt, I knew then that you’re the girl for me. You have recently stalked a man or currently stalking one now, ...

0 Comments, 83 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score
rm_sexy7one 61 M
8  Articles
if she say's no   3/12/2006

guy's if you meet a female and all she want's to do is give head and she won't let you fuck or touch her pussy then you might wanna run because this female really might be a male.

2 Comments, 155 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
gashapon2 54 M
38  Articles
My girlfriend's sister   3/10/2006

Someone told me this story and I want to share with you. This guy is a friend of a friend of mine.
I was engaged and have already planned a marriage with my girlfriend. Her family seems to welcome me, especially her younger sister. When my girlfriend is not looking, she always come close to me, hug me and rub her breast against my arm. I thought she was just kidding but I ...

1 Comments, 688 Views, 29 Votes ,6.75 Score
loadedwfun 37 M
2  Articles
penis size   2/28/2006

This is the age old question about which matters more...size or use? which do y'all think is more true? Does a bigger penis automatically mean better sex? or does it all depend on "attack" style?

10 Comments, 713 Views, 19 Votes ,2.99 Score
rm_foxysexyslim 35 F
2  Articles
flame that burns forever   2/19/2006

I belive the key point in a relationship is humor and sex. You have to be able to take a joke.Taking every word seriously makes not only you but the other person miserable. With that said however there is a line that shouldnt be crossed, which you only learn through trial and error.A helpful technique to use around other people when your partner pisses you off, is to respond with something ...

0 Comments, 157 Views, 10 Votes ,2.59 Score
What Is Love?   2/19/2006

What Is Love? Softly spread from heart to heart, With expressions of devotion. Voiced with strong feeling and Tremendous emotion. Although it requires little time to reveal, This process can take long to heal. These impressions can often accidentally Be taken, wounding one's heart because mistaken. Because of the strength of attraction and care, Freedom is sacrificed for the ...

0 Comments, 72 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Devilkain1 47 M
2  Articles
Marriage and Sex   2/16/2006

There was this couple who have been married for 20 years now...And every time they went to have sex....The husband would shut off the lights before engagaing in sex with her...One night while having sex...The husband did his normal thing and shut off the lights before starting...Half way through the session, the wife quickly turned on the lights to find her husband using a dildo instead of ...

0 Comments, 404 Views, 12 Votes ,4.39 Score
Tips for a Happy Relationship......   2/15/2006

Borrowed from the late, great Red Skelton. <br> 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, share good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. <br> 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in New York. <br> 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. ...

2 Comments, 154 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
rm_iceyduncan 40 F
5  Articles
why men wont commit???   2/15/2006

maybe because...they cant get sex w/out commitment, they can get the benifits of having wife by just cohabiting.

10 Comments, 376 Views, 17 Votes ,3.97 Score
gbcock4u69 49 M
12  Articles
the pussy fart   2/13/2006

there is nothing more humorous to me than a woman who queefs after is kind of erotic because it means the pussy is really wet, but the sounds is just too much to

3 Comments, 320 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_rockhardo00 62 M
10  Articles
Sex With My Ex   2/13/2006

My wife moved out and is living at her dad's. He lives about sixty miles south west of me, in H.B., Ca. During the week, I talk to her every day or two on the phone, cause we have a 9 yr. old girl together. We just split up a little over a month ago so, It's just passing that devastation feeling. Whenever I try to talk her into coming out here she trips but, she always comes. The 2nd ...

0 Comments, 206 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
ChowchillaThrill 56 M
1  Article
You Can't Be Serious   2/8/2006

Alright, while I am definitely not "as good as I once was", I am most certainly "as good once as I ever was". <br> Hell, I'm 45 years old, spent 14 years as a professional athlete and now bear the scars of one of Dr. Frankenstien's creations however, I do what I can to kep myself in shape and stay relatively "marketable" to the fairer sex. <br> My question, simply put, ...

0 Comments, 152 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score

WORDS WOMEN USE AND WHAT THEY MEAN <br> FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. <br> FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. <br> NOTHING This is the ...

0 Comments, 258 Views, 11 Votes ,5.78 Score
Girls Vs. Grown Women   1/31/2006

Girls Vs. Grown Women <br> 1.GIRLS leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans. GROWN WOMEN make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits in. <br> 2.GIRLS want to control the man in their life. GROWN WOMEN know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling. <br> 3.GIRLS check you for not calling them. ...

0 Comments, 166 Views, 11 Votes ,5.22 Score
My Brother Does   1/30/2006

One of the best real life stories I ever heard goes back to my college days. Some guys I knew had been out drinking and they were heading back to the university on the bus. They got off a couple of stops too early and were following a young woman who was probably heading home after work. Said young woman was very easy on the eyes and they were slightly drunk. One of them yelled out to ...

0 Comments, 408 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
mating   1/27/2006

Some species mate for life. Wolves, eagles, penguins, and other species... once mated will never take another mate. Humans however, will not only take another after mating, but will take another during, before and after mating originally. <br> Why succumb to the socially accepted norm??

6 Comments, 283 Views, 15 Votes ,3.59 Score
dicconzane21M 36 M
4  Articles
Humorous beginners guide to AdultFriendFinder   1/17/2006

Troll… group name for the fakers, timewasters, wannabes, and stalkers, those needing a life and those pretending to have one. The desperados, self professed greats and great pretenders, the masqueraders and misbehavers. The picture collectors and traders. Those that email everyone and those that email one person over and over and over and over and over and over… In most cases ...

1 Comments, 356 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
InkednPierced8 44 M
9  Articles
Philofecies   1/15/2006

I lick girls' rumps. I like to lick girls' rumps. Girls like to have their rumps licked. Most girls won't admit they've had their rump licked, let alone enjoyed having their rump licked. But believe you me, if you lick a girl's rump, she'll love you for life. In fact, that was my high school yearbook quote. <br> My conviction to 'slurping the brown pucker' doesn't stem from ...

2 Comments, 209 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............   1/13/2006


4 Comments, 536 Views, 31 Votes ,6.50 Score
sexytinkerbell19 37 F
4  Articles
my boyfriends   1/9/2006

The first date I had with my boyfriend, he told me he had never had a blow job before. Apparently I couldn't see through that. Now we've been together 2 years, and although he's not like that anymore, it still cracks me up how I fell for that line. It may not have been his first, but two years later, it was obviously his best!

2 Comments, 1271 Views, 39 Votes ,5.03 Score
This is for the girls   1/6/2006

This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and neither are the guys they're interested in.. This is for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper or touch because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe, just maybe this time he'll have understood.. This is a homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are ...

3 Comments, 290 Views, 16 Votes ,6.21 Score
rm_garyb 63 M
1  Article
The Conception of an Obsession   1/1/2006

It happened in a cornfield near Wichita Kansas. She was a tall, skinny long legged brunette, a little flat chested… but I never was turned no by big boobs. Dark eyes a cutie nose and always a big smile. <br> One mid summer afternoon we went for a drive in the country in my Oldsmobile 69… I mean 98, Freudian slip there. She had her hair tied back and was wearing a ...

0 Comments, 350 Views, 10 Votes ,1.99 Score
for love   12/22/2005

from the whole body

0 Comments, 68 Views, 2 Votes
smiles   12/18/2005

when on a blind date is it cool to make a fool at of one self so to make your date smile?

0 Comments, 105 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
rm_twoferfun469 81 M
2  Articles
Losing my mind   12/17/2005

Being an older man, I find that the little blue pill helps me a lot. Without it I usually lose it after about 15 minutes, with it I can usually last an hour or more. <br> One day I forgot to take the pill before sex with my wife. After a less than satisfactory episode I discovered I had not taken it and told her. Her reply: <br> Good - it means only your mind is ...

0 Comments, 309 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
123321238 42 M
2  Articles
Blind Date Blunder...   12/11/2005

A friend and I were out one evening in a pub... (we're both male) shortly upon arrival, he confessed as to why we were there, that is, it was no accident... <br> No, he had arranged a blind date for the two of us - knowing I would have probably refused to attend otherwise. All things considered, we were already there. <br> We positioned ourselves near the door, so as to ...

1 Comments, 289 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
rm_blondton13 52 F
3  Articles
Little Lesson in Oral   12/7/2005

A long time ago, when I was young, dumb, and well..not full of cum (as I'm female), but rather lusty in my ways~ I learned a valuable lesson. I was only 16, and my parents had went to Garmisch for a vacation when we lived in Germany. I, of course, decided to have a party and invite all of my friends, including my then boyfriend and a few hot guys I enjoyed flirting with. One of these guys ...

4 Comments, 873 Views, 46 Votes ,4.74 Score
happycouple973 48 C
95  Articles
I had that chance. Her name was Rachel.   12/5/2005

She lay back on her bed. Rachel's sexiness was all engrossing. Her olive skin covered her limbs like the yellows, greens and tans of Van Gough Dandelion ‒ symbiotic in his shades. <br> Rachel was truly the sexiest woman that men had ever seen. She was a striking ‒ the kind one writes ballots about. <br> I was touched by her essence, which shone brilliantly ...

3 Comments, 324 Views, 18 Votes ,2.17 Score
LittleVJ 55 F
21  Articles
A Cold Nose   11/26/2005

Max was my dachshund, I spoiled that dog. I let him sleep on the bed he used to like to cuddle up. <br> I started dating a new guy, Max was a little suspicious of my new beau, but was reasonably friendly. <br> The first time we had sex at my place we were in my bed. Max was asleep in the frontroom in his basket by the TV. The sex was hot and focused and at one point he ...

1 Comments, 805 Views, 36 Votes ,5.48 Score
mmfun66 57 C
4  Articles
One that should have been on top 10 list   11/17/2005

I was reading the article "10 Things You Don't Want To Hear During Sex" and just had to let everyone know what our #1 would be. I have what you could call a warped sense of humor. Luckily, over the years my husband has come to expect just about anything from me. Once during sex, I was on top riding him and his hard-on disappeared.Me, being me, spontaneously bursts into laughter, roll off, ...

3 Comments, 649 Views, 28 Votes ,4.06 Score
rm_joesmoe83 33 M
2  Articles
AdultFriendFinder   11/15/2005

AdultFriendFinder ---- thats the joke ha

1 Comments, 475 Views, 10 Votes ,1.00 Score
haversack_smith 36 M
1  Article
Should I use a condom in my sexual fantasies?   11/13/2005

This is all true. <br> Obviously, most people decide it's wise to use a condom for sex outside monogamous relationships. And I agree with this. However, should I also use condoms for sexual fantasies that take place only in my own head? <br> On the face of it, it's a damn stupid question, because there's no chance of STD infection OR pregnancy from a sexual fantasy. So ...

6 Comments, 455 Views, 6 Votes ,0.80 Score
12  Articles
ART OF KISSING   11/10/2005

Kissing Is An Art <br> Butterfly Kiss: With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart. <br> Cheek Kiss: A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner`s shoulders, ...

0 Comments, 115 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
FunAdultSwingers 64 M
1  Article
Your Sex Sign Reading ...   11/8/2005

Aquarius <br> Jan 21 - Feb 19 Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns <br> Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns ...

1 Comments, 269 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
satisfied never   11/5/2005

you know when I saw the handle I was hopeful. but I must of misinterpreted it he's not the one never satisfied. you are. Love the broad chest and the beautiful faced just make sure you have your dildo and lots of batteries. I speak from experience. One lost soul

1 Comments, 209 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
rm_101101001 58 C
75  Articles
Would you join a group...   10/31/2005

Dear AdultFriendFinder members; <br> How many of you would be willing to join a discussion group, where the membership requirements are. That you must be willing to go with a current group member or the group’s moderator, for free and anonymous HIV testing (say within thirty 30 days from joining the group) and share your test results with each other to prove that you are both HIV ...

2 Comments, 364 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
LittleVJ 55 F
21  Articles
Normal Shrinkage and other things?   10/20/2005

Things I sometimes wonder about.... If you cook meat it shrinks. So heat causes shrinkage. Yes? Yet some guys claim cold water causes "ahem" shrinkage! Why do they call it a blow job? I don't consider it a job (it's fun), and I don't think I've ever blown on one! Why is the person in the next car always seem to be either combing their hair, picking their ...

0 Comments, 369 Views, 21 Votes ,5.35 Score
barabond 42 M
38  Articles
Blind Date Ditch   10/19/2005

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <br> Blind dates are just plain scary, but it gets a lot worse when you meet them and discover they are far from even the most meager of hopes you had for them to be what you wanted. Here's some tips on how to get rid of them, fast! <br> Pull out a harmonica and play blues songs when your date ...

0 Comments, 214 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Iwannalicku78 45 F
3  Articles
the balls   10/18/2005

is it just me or do we not want to have anything to do with the balls??lol really though. Some can be stinky just like pussies...and they just sit there so why bother?? I know i get right in there and do what i can to please my man but it can become

2 Comments, 218 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
rm_sydney_38c 63 C
5  Articles
Emails back and forth at work....   10/7/2005

Dear Sam, I am writing to you from work, where I am getting nothing done. I want to suck you off. It's all I can think about and I am totally distracted. I just want to bury my head in your lap, smell your intoxicating smell, and lick, suck & swallow all of you. I love to do it, and you know it. I want to hear you moan and beg for more. I love that, too. I have nothing ...

0 Comments, 478 Views, 12 Votes ,3.15 Score
Boyscout Rule Applies   9/20/2005

After being informed by a new girlfriend that she had a difficult time cumming, I agreed to incorporate her vibrator into our lovemaking. <br> Things seemed to work well, I felt a bit sidelined sometimes by the buzz of the mechanical penis, but soon embraced the idea and enjoyed myself and her. She was getting pretty excited, as I asked and tried out what she instructed. Just ...

0 Comments, 263 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
I told you so!   9/18/2005

This is a story about a girl I met while working my way through college. In bed with her for the first time, she explained that it was very difficult for her to cum. I wasn't about to let anything get in the way of what was about to happen, so I said with confidence that I could make her cum through oral sex. <br> Skeptically, she consensented and I was determined to back up my ...

0 Comments, 221 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
mixedcouple35 46 C
1  Article
A sailor walked into a bar with a small....   9/14/2005

A sailor walked into a bar with a small head. The bartender asked what happened. <br> The sailor said, "My boat sank. I was adrift for 3 days when I saw a mermaid." <br> She said, "I will grant you three wishes." <br> The sailor continued, "I wished there was a boat and suddenly I heard 'toot toot' for there was a boat on the horizon. Then I wished I looked ...

0 Comments, 537 Views, 10 Votes ,1.79 Score
"The Bellhop Twist"   9/13/2005

Preface: <br> I recently met the most incredible woman on AdultFriendFinder. Somehow she enticed me into sharing my fantasy with her. Then after writing several emails to each other “The Bellhop Twist” emerged. This fantasy stuff is so much unlike me. In a million years I would have never thought that building a fantasy story with someone could be so intellectually and sexually ...

0 Comments, 127 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
"The Bellhop Twist"   9/13/2005

Preface: <br> I recently met the most incredible woman on AdultFriendFinder. Somehow she enticed me into sharing my fantasy with her. Then after writing several emails to each other “The Bellhop Twist” emerged. This fantasy stuff is so much unlike me. In a million years I would have never thought that building a fantasy story with someone could be so intellectually and sexually ...

0 Comments, 272 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
happycouple973 48 C
95  Articles
A game anyone can play!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   9/12/2005

Many people that read stories on this site no doubt end up getting turned on and end up having a sexual encounter of some type. Some people will be lucky and have someone around to help out and some will end up having to masturbate. <br> Masturbation is one of those things that everyone does (or just about everyone) but no one talks about. The chat lines on the internet are one way ...

0 Comments, 267 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
iron_butterfly21 39 F
2  Articles
interfaith relationship   9/8/2005

Webster's dictionary defines 'interfaith' as "involving persons of different religious faiths." Based on this definition, most people associate the word 'interfaith' with couples consisting of members of two completely different religions, for example, a Muslim and a Buddhist. 'Interfaith, ' however, also refers to several other categories of couples. Couples whose ...

0 Comments, 124 Views, 4 Votes ,1.30 Score
iron_butterfly21 39 F
2  Articles
arousal   9/8/2005

Many people may suppose that the question of the title is a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely for feeding babies, then ...

0 Comments, 547 Views, 8 Votes ,2.09 Score
iron_butterfly21 39 F
2  Articles
arousal   9/8/2005

Many people may suppose that the question of the title is a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely for feeding babies, then ...

1 Comments, 227 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
getdown1st 68 C
213  Articles
Bartender's Guide   9/7/2005

Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! <br> Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: <br> *Drink: Beer, Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a ...

4 Comments, 467 Views, 18 Votes ,4.63 Score
When sex is funny...its more fun   8/31/2005

We all want sex to be fun, of course, but how about funny? This may seem like a demented concept, but laughter makes us feel better, and what better confidence booster than to be able to laugh with your partner comfortably when you are sitting there naked as jay birds. Laughter is healthy, and sex is healthy, so why shouldn't the two go together. I remeber one time a girlfriend and I were ...

1 Comments, 131 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
rm_howie5000 55 M
4  Articles
laughing   8/24/2005

humour is the key to a good relationship to be able to leugh together and at each other is quite refreshing

2 Comments, 78 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
I dont know if I'm good at giving men Blow Jobs   8/24/2005

How do you know? I have only been with a few men in my life... Dont get me wrong... I love to give head! I just dont know if I am any good at it. I never really asked if I was any good at it. I was always told it's not nice to talk with your mouth full. I mean they cum quite quickly most of the time. They just dont scream "Yeah Baby, Yeah just like that!" I guess I am just wondering if ...

9 Comments, 496 Views, 20 Votes ,4.02 Score
cplseeksfml4fun 37 C
9  Articles
This is just a little joke you can share with whomever!!!   8/22/2005

One night there were this boy and girl on their way home from prom. The boy was driving along when all of a sudden the girl looked at him and said "I want to have sex." <br> So the boy pulls over the car, gets out his condom and they do their thing. When they were finished he threw the condom out the window. A few seconds later the girl looks at him and says "I want to have sex ...

1 Comments, 381 Views, 16 Votes ,1.07 Score
wifey3223 55 F
20  Articles
safe sex, horny wanna fuck 2 men all night& more?   8/20/2005

We havent had sex all week, because were on over time at work. Im also tierd because were together 24/7. We went to see louise faricon last tuesday, or wensday. I went to learn his muslim culture, to learn the man , Im with daily. I WAS surprised to see a women who wears little clothes, due to hotness, temuter wise. Liked the womens muslim gowns, Im trying to bond to everything. He takes ...

0 Comments, 334 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
wild_california 51 F
1  Article
0 To 200 In 4 Seconds   8/13/2005

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. <br> He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. <br> "Look !" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to ...

0 Comments, 290 Views, 24 Votes ,5.40 Score
My latest brush with true love   8/6/2005

So I’m going at it like a Drunken Viking. I’ve got a hand on the back of her head, not too hard but still pushing her face to pillow. I’m tagging bottom with every thrust and digging it. She likes it rough and this is about as rough as I can give it. Knock, knock. I grab a bottle of personal lube and squirt some down the crack of her ass, and start working it in ...

0 Comments, 365 Views, 15 Votes ,2.98 Score
Radio call gone bad   8/5/2005

A friend sent me an audio clip a couple of years ago. It is supposedly a real radio station practical joke. <br> A radio station would call a person's friend/loved one and play a practical joke on the person. One day a man asked them to play a joke on his wife. <br> The show hosts called the woman and told her that they were calling from where he worked, and that he had ...

0 Comments, 224 Views, 18 Votes ,4.90 Score
Have a favorite song to fuck to?   7/10/2005

Got a favorite song that you love to 'get it on' or 'fool around' to? If so, what is it? Peace out.

5 Comments, 261 Views, 10 Votes ,2.59 Score
rm_desertdaze 74 F
5  Articles
A Blind Date By Any Other Name....   7/8/2005

"...'Lo" I answered the phone in my usual lackadaisical manner. I already knew it would be my beautiful but scolding . <br> "Mom, is that any way to answer a phone? Why do you sound so …listless?" My scolded. Listless? Okay…listless is much easier to spell than lackadaisical. <br> "I'm sorry, Dear but there just doesn't seem to be anything worth answering ...

2 Comments, 261 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
bouncer_in_ri 50 M
1  Article
the perils of bouncing...   7/7/2005

...once there was this time I was at Showcase Cinemas with the family- mom, , aunt, uncles, 2 cousins...and while I was in the men's room, my was trying to get hold of his mom, so he had possession of my phone...when MUCH to my mortified discovery...this dancer I know from the club has the same name as two others in my phone to distinguish them apart...I appropriately ...

0 Comments, 221 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
rm_SweetMonteSS 56 C
5  Articles
The nite our found our   7/7/2005

The and I had gone to my moms for a couple of weeks in the summer for a mini vaction...well when we got back my hubby missed me so much he decided tonite he was gonna handcuff me to the bed and make up for the last 2weeks...In the morning we all got hubby and I were getting ready for work when my oldest (8 at the time) came in the bathroom and said "mommy, why are there handcuffs ...

1 Comments, 910 Views, 28 Votes ,4.68 Score
rm_Voyuer404 41 F
1  Article
The Wedding Test   7/6/2005

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend; she was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when ...

0 Comments, 515 Views, 25 Votes ,7.34 Score
redfish102 61,1956 C
4  Articles
Excuses!!   7/6/2005

Anyone out there ever have to come up with a stupid excuse to explain to your what they have found in your room? We did once. When our was about 6 he found the chains with velcro hand-cuffs bolted to the inside frame of our bed, after asking what they were there for my husband was flustered and caught of guard, so for a quick response he told him it was used for handles when moving the ...

0 Comments, 180 Views, 6 Votes ,4.22 Score
27SexySensitive 50 M
5  Articles
Love is a funny thing   7/3/2005

We all do silly and strange things too thoes that we love the most. We offten hurt each other with out realising just what we have done wrong.Is is humman nature or are we just ignorant to our own stuppidity ..I think it's all the above and we seem to like doing what we do..So why not have a lil fun while we're here I say !!!

1 Comments, 107 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
spedandpurple 52,1943 C
23  Articles
"the bf's "   7/3/2005

My boyfriend and I live together. He has an eleven year old that doesnt. Sounds simple enough heh? Well it's not!!!! One of the weekends he had her, we were in our bedroom, thinking she was asleep and began to fool around...with the door closed of course. And just so you know how uncomfortable the situation was ..we were practicing oral sex...i had performed my half and was allowing him ...

2 Comments, 705 Views, 20 Votes ,1.08 Score
rm_poli_samiyar 39 M
17  Articles
I know the whole truth   7/2/2005

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out. <br> He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your ...

0 Comments, 212 Views, 12 Votes ,4.21 Score
Surprise   6/27/2005

My ex and I were at her parents house and feeling a bit frisky. We started going at it and decided that we should stay clothed just in case we heard someone coming so we could get dressed fast. Well, we removed what we needed to and started going at it. We were so into it, we didn't hear someone coming and by that time it was too late. She was sitting on top of me when her brother walked ...

0 Comments, 799 Views, 11 Votes ,1.48 Score
My Husband is going to Kill me when he reads this   6/23/2005

We have been together for fourteen years, but when we were first dating, oh my. We had only had sex a few times and we decided to do it doggie style. Well away we were going when all of a sudden it slipped into the wrong hole. I was so shocked that I bucked him off and he fell on the floor. I am not sure who was more embarrased him or me. He got back on the bed and we talked about it and ...

3 Comments, 1179 Views, 40 Votes ,3.72 Score
AlohaORcupple 43 C
5  Articles
i want relationship horror stories, please true only.   6/22/2005

i want everyone who reads this to reply with thier worst relationship horror stories, true only please.

4 Comments, 520 Views, 11 Votes ,2.05 Score
rm_sexymachien 38 M
9  Articles
what do you do when you're caught in the act?   6/17/2005

I spent the night at my best friends house and in the moring she woke me up and told me to go take a shower first. I was in there and I was really aroused. My best friend is so hot and she woke me up in a little skimmpy nighty. I was in the shower and started masterbating. 5 minutes later she walks in and says are you finished yet. It's clear glass so she could see me plain as day. ...

2 Comments, 713 Views, 24 Votes ,4.72 Score
male_model5 41 M
1  Article
QUICKY OR NOT?   5/31/2005


1 Comments, 573 Views, 15 Votes ,2.82 Score
Pick Up Lines   5/21/2005

AdultFriendFinder keeps losing posts, and people seemed to like it before, so I'm reposting it. <br> A friend sent me this a few years ago, don't know where it came from. OK, some of these are truly rude, some corny, some REALLY dumb, but some are pretty clever. <br> Given the right situation, I could see using a few... My favorite: #108. Which do you like? <br> 1. ...

3 Comments, 588 Views, 25 Votes ,4.35 Score
oldie but goodie   5/19/2005

i know this is old, but i heard it again recently and had to post it. <br> a guy comes home from work one day to find his girlfriend packing up her things. shes furious at him. hes confused as to why she would suddenly pack up and leave. he asks her whats the matter. she says she found out that hes a pedophile. "pedophile?" he says laughing. "thats a pretty big word for a 12 ...

0 Comments, 423 Views, 14 Votes ,2.82 Score
AncientGrkGhost 54 M
1  Article
Is Cupid on strike?   4/25/2005

So this guy, lonely and tired of the same crap in the "real" world. Tries the on line personals. He views some attractive women and decides to join. Saying to himself "Wow, this is great! I'm not bad looking and have allot to offer." He joins and begins sending emails to the women that seem to be perfect. The on line site shows five of five hearts or stars or dicks. It even sends him ...

0 Comments, 267 Views, 10 Votes ,3.78 Score
One for the Ladies   4/24/2005

A fireman and his wife were in a sexual rut. One day he came home from the station after a full day of training, excited as all hell. Honey, he said. Today we learned a new alarm system to help us get to the fire quickly. On Bell 1, we slide down the pole! On Bell 2, we get in our gear! On Bell 3, we jump on the truck and head to the fire! I was thinking we could use this system to enhance ...

2 Comments, 525 Views, 21 Votes ,6.84 Score
wacocock12 40 M
7  Articles
Joke   4/19/2005

If there is no grass on the field, flip her around and play in the mudd

0 Comments, 317 Views, 8 Votes ,0.23 Score
TDandH1960 63 M
2  Articles
highway to hawaii   4/17/2005

A man found a lamp and when he rubbed it a genie appeared and told him that he would grant him just one wish. So he thought a bit and said , I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm deathly afraid of flying, so I'd like a highway to Hawaii so I can drive. The genie thought and said, I can do that but it's very difficult, would there be something else instead? Well the man thought a bit ...

0 Comments, 165 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
rm_Gyntlman 43 M
11  Articles
"A World Without Orgasms?" ;-)   4/13/2005

Ladys, Gents! How would some of us deal with not being able to orgasm? Although unfortunately some people are experiencing this issue today; put yourself in their shoes and imagine it. You'd have sex and reach the point of explosion and couldn't spill a drop of your juices.

1 Comments, 157 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
rm_Nokia_555 31 M
6  Articles
Just read a funny joke.   4/6/2005

What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? <br> I can sleep with a light on.

0 Comments, 188 Views, 9 Votes ,1.72 Score
rm_warrior5674 39 M
8  Articles
Long Distance   4/5/2005

Two guys are driving to work when one asks the other if he talks to his wife after sex. <br> "Yes" replies the guy, "if I can find a phone."

1 Comments, 315 Views, 10 Votes ,1.99 Score
rm_Morocco1982 41 M
9  Articles
Time to rock out with your cock out!   4/4/2005

Last night, I was actually having sex. Now, what made this a memorable experience, besides me having sex, is that AC/DC's "TNT" was playing. And for the first time in my life, I had rhythm. That whole, "women to the left of me/women to the right" thing got my dick harder than it's ever been. So afterwards, while lying in bed, basking in the afterglow and listening to woman lie to me ...

2 Comments, 230 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
rm_ynohtna2005 39 M
9  Articles
Laughs are fun things   3/28/2005

making your man or woman laugh is fun and also a relationship saver, try it atleast 5 jokes a day and one must be when u wake up and when u going to your bed. peace out respect man!!!

1 Comments, 100 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
rm_ynohtna2005 39 M
9  Articles
Jokez Make a relationship last longer   3/27/2005

If u can make your mate smile u will have him/her longer in your me i know..

0 Comments, 93 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
rotn2dacore 69 M
11  Articles
BEANS   3/24/2005

I went to visit a lady friend one evening. She had already had a few drinks before I arrived. She fixed me a drink and we settled on the sofa, her to take a nap and me to try to get laid. I was caressing her body, working my face toward her crotch(we're still dressed, mind you) and as I got closer to my target, the heffa farted. Turns out, she had eaten a bowl of beans earlier that day. I ...

1 Comments, 334 Views, 10 Votes ,2.19 Score
Joke   3/22/2005

So, this grade school teacher was teaching her class vocabulary words. She starts with the letter "A" and works her way through the alphabet, picking a word that begins with each letter and asking students to use that word in a sentence. Apple for "A, " Banana for "B, " etc. She gets to "W" and picks the word "womb." <br> "Can anyone use the word 'womb' in a sentence?" she says. ...

0 Comments, 247 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
MEN: Words Women Use   3/20/2005

FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. <br> NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something", and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine". <br> GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. <br> LOUD SIGH This is not actually ...

1 Comments, 321 Views, 22 Votes ,6.01 Score
rm_1hotbiish 34 F
1  Article
Stikee Situations....   3/10/2005

This will be a series of questions I'm going to post every week asking what you would do if certain situations ever arose in your relationship. Please stayed tuned because you're gonna run across a few things that will make you say "HMMM"..... <br> <br> <br> Say you are at your lovers house and you're in the bathroom washing up after a night of hot passionate ...

5 Comments, 415 Views, 11 Votes ,3.73 Score
How well do you really know someone?   3/7/2005

How many of you can fart infront of your partner?

5 Comments, 332 Views, 14 Votes ,4.90 Score
henry7andhalf 47 C
1  Article
I wish i could read her mind   3/5/2005

Boy isnt this every mans dream? for us married guys you know what i mean . For you younger guys married or single if you dont know you soon will find out I guess my biggest dilema is and always will be . When does no mean no and when does no mean yes? Ive been married to the same wonderfull woman for 17 years and my dilema still exhists, If she says im tired and wants to get some sleep and ...

1 Comments, 170 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
onearki 40 M
10  Articles
ordinary break up   2/26/2005

Its very ordinary now adays for every couple to separate. Thier investment for their relationship were lost in just a matter of simple jelousy and most common of all is the sudden twist of ...

1 Comments, 96 Views, 7 Votes ,1.00 Score
rm_Gyntlman 43 M
11  Articles
"Diversity Clarification 101/ 2005"   2/26/2005

Why do people describe themselves as being "openminded" and "nonjudgemental"..... and then turn around and have an "X" in the box on their profile by race and age? Help me understand this people.

2 Comments, 116 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
XG35 55 M
4  Articles
So,... Has It Comes To This...   2/25/2005

Personal Ads - Interpreted <br> WOMEN'S ADS <br> 40-ish................ 49 Adventurer.............Slept with all your friends Athletic.............. No tits Average looking........Has a face like a basset hound Beautiful............. Pathological liar Contagious Smile.......Does a lot of Ecstasy Educated.............. Banged her Political Science professor ...

1 Comments, 415 Views, 33 Votes ,5.99 Score
where is the line?   2/23/2005

Hey. Where is the line between too much humor, not enough and just right? I try to make girls laugh, but not too much. I'm no comedian. How much does laughter play in love?

0 Comments, 89 Views, 4 Votes ,2.08 Score
niki_321 51,1948 LC
8  Articles
Drinking and Cunnilingus   2/19/2005

Not a good combo. Has anyone else passed out while being down on their girlfriend? Not a fun morning

1 Comments, 299 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
What Would You Do Without Your Penis?   2/11/2005

If I didn't have a penis... <br> <br> I know it sounds strange, but I'd probably become a better lover. Sex wouldn't revolve around my dick like it does now. I'd spend more time kissing my girlfriend, massaging her, and listening to her. I think she might feel a lot more satisfied. "I'm not sure about me!"

4 Comments, 255 Views, 14 Votes ,3.62 Score
Guranteed? Turn-Ons   2/11/2005

Guranteed? Turn Ons: <br> <br> A fabulous home cooked meal (with you for dessert!). <br> <br> A quickie in a elevator. <br> <br> Dirty talk during sex. <br> <br> A perfect smile. <br> <br> Having your underware ripped off! <br> <br> A 90-minute ...

2 Comments, 348 Views, 20 Votes ,1.98 Score
Predicktions   2/11/2005

Virtual Intercourse: <br> <br> Blow-up dolls are so--what's the word?--tacky. The ultimate joyride will soon be as close as your (extremely) friendly laptop and fabulous members-only virtual intercourse website. Utilizing 3-D glasses and a revelutionary sensoMatic silicon penis "sleeve, " virtual intercourse will offer an almost unlimited range of fantasy encounters ...

0 Comments, 312 Views, 7 Votes ,4.06 Score
rm_Mykul17 42 M
7  Articles
You meet you gorlfriend how?   2/6/2005

I'm not trying to brag about anything, I just think this is a funny way to have meet my now ex-girlfirned. I am an art major, and I was in a life-drawing class. I saw so many nude models I realized it was no big deal really, and that after a few momment people looking at the model see shapes and values, not a naked person. So I decided to give it a try. I could use the money after all, ...

1 Comments, 204 Views, 12 Votes ,1.74 Score
rm_hotbtweenlgs 68 C
24  Articles
Doing the laundry   2/6/2005

When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing the laundry" as another phrase for having sex. One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset. I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...

1 Comments, 824 Views, 66 Votes ,7.19 Score

Have you ever met a man on this site who appears to have a dynamic profile, good personality and great looks? Once you get ready to have sex everything that was in their profile goes straight out the window! Some men will say anything to get the drawers/panties/thongs, but when you get down to it will not back up their shit. I met this one man who claims to love oral sex, excuse me, that is ...

6 Comments, 559 Views, 27 Votes ,4.29 Score
SO EMBARRASSING!   1/27/2005

I have been on this site for about 6 months and have only have a few dates/meetings. I can honestly say that the men that I have met really were not up my expectations. Lets face it; this is an ADULT site so anything could happen. What I never thought would happen is men who I have already met and even engaged in sex with would forget my handle and ultimately send an email wanting to meet. ...

5 Comments, 684 Views, 35 Votes ,5.62 Score
Youbeourfirst 56 C
3  Articles
MY TRIP TO THE DOCTORS !!! ??? !!!   1/27/2005

After sitting there for a while in the waiting room, that bastard doctor finally called my name !! <br> At last ! It was my turn to go in !! <br> Straight down to business I took me trousers off and said, "Have a look at this Doc, my fuggin cock is like a Walnut" !?! <br> He said, "You do realize that when you go for a piss you're supposed to shake the fuggin ...

0 Comments, 788 Views, 47 Votes ,1.89 Score
Sex with a Republican???   1/23/2005

This is a funny take on what sex with members of certain political parties might be like. It's all tongue-in-cheek, since I haven't had sex with any of these people (I'm a Canadian). Still there is hope... America has 10 times the population of Canada, so that would mean 10 times the liklihood of finding a date... oops, I'm getting off topic... <br> <br> Sex with a ...

0 Comments, 112 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
Sex with a Canadian, eh?   1/23/2005

Here's a funny take on sex with Canadians. Hey, if you can't poke fun at your own country, ya shouldn't insult others. -------------------------------------------------- <br> Sex with a Canadian, Pros and Cons <br> <br> 1)we can do it in really cold weather <br> 2) we bitch about it when it's too hot or too cold <br> 3) we like to think we do ...

0 Comments, 193 Views, 15 Votes ,2.67 Score
funny but embarrasing   1/18/2005

I had a girl that was really interested in me throughout high school. We were very close friends and she would come over my house ever so often(when my parents werent home). We would cuddle but were to shy to let anything else happen. I explained to her numerous times that I didn't want a relationship. The girl had a really crappy home life and her mother choose her boyfriend over the girl ...

0 Comments, 433 Views, 15 Votes
there's no room for fun here...   1/18/2005

What is that sound? Is it laughter? Joy? What the fuck are you thinking? We are in a relationshiop. Do you understand that? A relationship!!! There is no room for humor or joy or laughter here. This is serious fucking work. And we wonder why people don't stay together. No one wants to work hard anymore.

0 Comments, 119 Views, 12 Votes
Queenie_x 41 F
3  Articles
A misunderstanding ended in laughter   1/17/2005

Sex can be so mush, from the deepest sharing of love, 2 raw mutual plessure! This time I'm gonna tell about was the first time i had sex with my former boy-friend. The sex was good, we had been in love 4 so long, that a simple stroke was enough 2 get us aroused. But in the end of the "session" he was taking me "doggy-style"...and just befor i was cumming, he said "I'm about 2 cum"...! ...

1 Comments, 523 Views, 35 Votes ,5.18 Score
burntattheedges 56 M
1  Article
Get a life ,,,,,,   1/17/2005

Once youve found yourself , ,Then your able , ,you may fall through people , , but eventualy you WILL be caught , ,, ,, ,,

0 Comments, 85 Views, 7 Votes ,0.49 Score
pdaesdude....   1/16/2005

I thought that I would make up my own damn language and write a long article that nobody else on the whole goddamn planet can read. ejaaavnafh pejoazop p[jaonaopp[wf ...ha, ha, ha. Get it.

0 Comments, 75 Views, 4 Votes ,0.92 Score
THAT HOT COP DID WHAT?   1/11/2005

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream <br> He's a freak of nature But we love him so He's a freak of nature But we let him go <br> Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason Believe me Eve she gave good reason Botty ...

0 Comments, 103 Views, 11 Votes ,2.23 Score
coffee_T_or_me 42 M
4  Articles
Longface   1/8/2005

Why did the cow had a long face ? <br> its because she says:- A woman gets fucked evey day and milks only once a year, and with me ...... I get fucked only once a year and milks throughout the year .... thats why the long face.

0 Comments, 54 Views, 6 Votes ,1.09 Score
coffee_T_or_me 42 M
4  Articles
Ship   1/8/2005

what is the similarity between a ship and a woman? <br> <br> Well....... A ship cuts thro the water and a woman waters thro the cut.

0 Comments, 110 Views, 8 Votes ,1.39 Score
Need Humor   1/8/2005

I think humor is very important. I hate when I am with a girl and I try to joke around with her about something and she is too serious. Even girls that are fun are the same way. They always joke around with me kind of sexually, and when I go to do the same to her she gets pissed.

0 Comments, 89 Views, 4 Votes ,0.92 Score
coltranefingers 43 M
2  Articles
TenTattoos & Sex   1/4/2005

Tattoed lovers are extremely sexy and interacting with inked skin heightens the sensual experience. Why? Here are the 10 top reasons: <br> 1)Licking a tatoo won't give you carb-guilt in the morning. <br> 2) It makes sex into a "scratch and sniff" experience for our eyeballs... <br> 3)Tatoos move when your lover moves. You burn twice the calories ...

0 Comments, 98 Views, 3 Votes ,1.96 Score
First date blunder   12/31/2004

I had exchanged a few emails with a local lady, found out she had a Masters in Social Work, seemed very bright, cheerful and possesed a subtle sexual lure. We decided to meet for coffe and see if lust would take hold. The day came and we met at a local mall's food court since it was familiar to both of us. Exchanged hugs and I could feel her hard nipples through my shirt. We sat and, out ...

1 Comments, 187 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
rm_freebody66 52 M
7  Articles
The Real Origin of Condoms...   12/30/2004

Hey, isn’t a condom one room in a condominium? <br> But seriously… I’d like to meet the guy who invented the condom. I just wonder who thought of it first??? I hear tell that condoms have been around for quite some time and that the original ones were made out of animal hides. One theory of their origin is this: A caveman (named Ugh) beats a cave girl ...

0 Comments, 139 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
rm_freebody66 52 M
7  Articles
My thoughts on gay & lesbian sex...   12/30/2004

Although I would describe myself as sexually adventurous & open minded, I’m still basically pretty conservative in my thinking, at least when it comes to alternate lifestyles. By alternate, I mean gay & lesbian. And, as a man, I especially dislike the idea of men having sex with other men. I’m a little more tolerant of lesbian sex, but only because the lesbian porn videos & ...

1 Comments, 101 Views, 8 Votes
rm_freebody66 52 M
7  Articles
My thoughts on Cybersex...   12/30/2004

I’ve only had cyber-sex once. It ruined my mouse and made my keyboard all sticky. And if you don’t use protection, your computer could get a nasty virus. I don’t recommend it!

0 Comments, 49 Views, 0 Votes
rm_freebody66 52 M
7  Articles
Boxers or Briefs?   12/30/2004

As Shakespeare would say, “That is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler to robe thy loins with…” ‒ oh, never mind. I’m not sure why this is such a big question. I mean, does it really make any difference to the lustful women who might actually ponder such a question? Do women really derive any true pleasure just by knowing what kind of underpants ...

0 Comments, 43 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
rm_freebody66 52 M
7  Articles
My thoughts on shaving...   12/30/2004

I don’t suppose it’s necessary for me to say that I’m not talking about shaving faces or legs. Of course I’m talking about that certain preference (or is it a fetish) of shaving the pubic region ‒ (excuse my language). <br> Once more I am totally unqualified to address the female perspective, but I would suspect that most women have considered ...

1 Comments, 144 Views, 8 Votes ,3.71 Score
foreverplaying 54 C
7  Articles
Sex and Humor   12/25/2004

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, ...

0 Comments, 243 Views, 54 Votes ,6.05 Score
foreverplaying 54 C
7  Articles
Funny   12/25/2004

How are women and tornadoes alike? <br> They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

1 Comments, 148 Views, 36 Votes ,4.79 Score
surpriseuprising 52 M
1  Article
First Experience   12/22/2004

My first experience with a woman was my most memorable experience. I was sitting at the Pub in my Leather sipping on a brew and a cute gal said I looked like a real man. We sat drinking and conversing and she asked if I wanted to go back to her place. We made it to the bedroom with a line of clothing behind. She caressed my body, softly kissed my nips and climbed on top. My bod was steamin' ...

0 Comments, 130 Views, 17 Votes ,2.70 Score
JoeDirtyOne 48 M
7  Articles
sex in a long term relationship and how a washingmaschine can save it   12/21/2004

Oh well there was this couple , wich were married allready for 15 years and the sexuall attraction wasn't there anymore , like when they meet. <br> Anyways both decided to see a sex therapist to freshen up their lust . So they sitting by the therapist and he's telling them that they need to be more " spontanious" . <br> So he's asking the doc how would they achive ...

0 Comments, 75 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
JoeDirtyOne 48 M
7  Articles
I thought i was a good Lover :(   12/21/2004

I really thought i was a good Lover , till i found out my ex-girlfriend had asthma. <br> Only then i realized where the havy breathing was coming from.

0 Comments, 51 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
JoeDirtyOne 48 M
7  Articles
2 Doctors and their dating experience   12/21/2004

Oh well their was these 2 Doctors wich meet over a dating service and they agreed to meet in a bar for their first date . <br> Anyways the evening got longer and longer and both had allready a couple of drinks . <br> He was a bit shy but eventually he found the courage to ask her if she would like to come with to his place to have the last drink. <br> She ...

0 Comments, 109 Views, 14 Votes ,3.14 Score
JoeDirtyOne 48 M
7  Articles
Viagra   12/21/2004

I really have to tell you guys this story . A friend of mine went on holiday to Thailand and brought some bottles of Viagra with , since he was a bit older then me he relied on it or better his wife . <br> Anyways he comes back and he's telling me what hunk he is now and that he can last for 3 hours and 15 mins . <br> Damn i know that Viagra isnt to healthy and i ...

0 Comments, 182 Views, 16 Votes ,2.25 Score
JoeDirtyOne 48 M
7  Articles
my sexlife and my addiction to some medicine   12/21/2004

yeah where do i start , oh yes did i tell you guys when i was young i realy had big problems with girls and sex . <br> You wont beliefe me but it took me always 4 hours and 13 mins ... yes exactly 4 hrs and 13 mins. <br> - 10 mins foreplay - 3 mins action - 4 hrs unconscious <br> Oh well after that i meet a friend and he suggested i should take ...

0 Comments, 82 Views, 12 Votes ,2.09 Score
just a little wind   12/20/2004

picture the scene, one cool autum day me and a rather pasionate young lady were busy in the bed room, when she decided to change positions and go on top. With all that vigiorious bouncing (and a good curry in me)i could feel the accumilation of wind down below, dispite my best efforts to suppress the flow, she managed to squeeze it out of me!! and as quick as a flash hopped of expressing ...

0 Comments, 66 Views, 8 Votes ,1.16 Score
Ode to oral   12/12/2004

Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a tease Accept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it all ...

2 Comments, 106 Views, 47 Votes ,4.50 Score
Cramp during Sex   12/10/2004

Just thought I'd share this funny little story that happened to me one time.... I was dating this girl and of course having sex on a fairly regular basis. One night we were in bed going at it for the second time in various positions. I'd already fucked her about an hour earlier but she's feeling extra frisky and wants to go at it again. Not wanting to disappoint her, I go to work. ...

0 Comments, 74 Views, 27 Votes ,2.93 Score
I love humor   12/7/2004

I just love a couple with a sense of humor. What do you do if a couple just does not know how to joke around and your just not interested anymore? Life is to be lived and have fun doing it.

2 Comments, 31 Views, 12 Votes ,1.21 Score
With Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore   12/6/2004

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the room The new guys were talking of doom and of gloom. “There are too many guys!” I heard one of them say, I wish that you others would just go away!” <br> The women were laughing, they’d seen it before “Hi let’s have sex” as soon as they hit the door. “And I ...

1 Comments, 44 Views, 16 Votes ,5.77 Score
dumboist 66 M
3  Articles
The saga of sandy and dennis   12/5/2004

BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS: The face of a muff diver named dennis Grew fuzz like a ball made for tennis Whomever he ate Thought his tongue was just great But his beard was an absolute menace <br> Day and night he would lick one named Sandy And feast on her puss just like candy Though her thighs were all raw Shredded just like coleslaw She liked ...

0 Comments, 70 Views, 14 Votes ,2.82 Score
Sex Therapist   11/30/2004

A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test to tell for certain how often someone has sex. <br> To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people, and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able to guess accurately until he comes to the ...

0 Comments, 45 Views, 30 Votes ,5.59 Score
hottygirl555324 52 F
10  Articles
Clothing sizes   11/25/2004

When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man will try on a pair; when he finds a pair that fits, he buys them. Most men do not spend alot of time fretting about the specific size of thier pants. Many men wear jeans which have the size printed on the back label, so that, if you're standing behind the man in a supermarket ...

5 Comments, 90 Views, 54 Votes ,7.43 Score
rm_Orgasmic4u2 56 F
5  Articles
A night out   11/24/2004

A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, ...

0 Comments, 201 Views, 49 Votes ,7.32 Score
rm_Orgasmic4u2 56 F
5  Articles
Cyber Sex Conversation   11/22/2004

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does... <br> ...

0 Comments, 642 Views, 53 Votes ,8.97 Score
Connected!!   11/21/2004

Ok, since i just discovered this part of the article categories, i have a place to tell this short, but quite funny/wierd experience. <br> <br> I an my ex-girlfriend were having sex, quite happily one day. Well, i have to mention here that she was quite 'tight' at the tender age of 16 and i was quite, "big" at the same age. <br> Well, this was a particularly ...

0 Comments, 42 Views, 17 Votes ,4.54 Score
rm_dave242349 66 M
41  Articles
The Escaped Convict   11/20/2004

The Escaped Convict <br> A man escapes from American prison after serving time for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. <br> Whilst he is in the ...

0 Comments, 68 Views, 24 Votes ,7.67 Score
rm_dave242349 66 M
41  Articles
Marraige Jokes   11/20/2004

1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. <br> 2. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. <br> <br> 3. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the ...

1 Comments, 34 Views, 15 Votes ,5.27 Score
rm_dave242349 66 M
41  Articles
First night of marraige   11/20/2004

On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh, " he exclaims, "My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your ...

0 Comments, 53 Views, 31 Votes ,8.42 Score
rm_dave242349 66 M
41  Articles
Results from sex research   11/20/2004

One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted his research, he only had sex 12 days. He recorded the reasons why his wife couldn't have sex with him, and these are the results: <br> 1. The sheets are clean....................................54 times 2. It is too ...

1 Comments, 43 Views, 34 Votes ,7.28 Score
10 Things you don't want to hear during sex.   11/18/2004

10."Is it in?" 9.Your brothers name. 8.A fart then "hee hee, sorry". 7."I wonder whats on T.V.?" 6.Your sisters name. 5."Damn, your better than i thought you'd be!" 4.Your Dads name. 3."Aww its so cute" 2."Cough, cough, ugh sorry hairball" And the number one thing! 1."Ohhhhh George W."

0 Comments, 97 Views, 19 Votes ,4.84 Score
10 Reasons why men think masturbation is better than sex.   11/18/2004

10.It takes less work. 9.Our wallets don't have to suffer. 8.Don't have to snuggle afterwards. 7.It may be your hand but at least you don't have to put up with your ex. 6.Its the best way we know of to have 'safe sex'. 5.Its something to do when we're bored. 4.We like to test the the "you'll put your eye out doing that" saying. 3.It saves some of us from sleeping ...

1 Comments, 46 Views, 20 Votes ,2.74 Score
rm_HIMNHER77 40 C
3  Articles
The Whales   11/17/2004

One day these two whales were swimming, a boy whale and his girlfriend. They were swimming around, having a good time when the boy whale sees this whaling vessel. "THAT'S THE BOAT THAT KILLED MY DAY", he yells. "Here's what we're going to do, we're going to take a deep breath, swim under the boat, and blow really hard. The boat will capsize and all the sailors will drown." Girl whale ...

0 Comments, 39 Views, 20 Votes ,4.27 Score
10 Reasons why women love their man.   11/16/2004

10. Because he has a good job and makes good money. <br> 9. Because he actually knows where my elusive 'G' spot is(spread the secret!). <br> 8. My man isn't a cheater, lyer or a jerk. <br> 7. My man is a really good guy. <br> 6. Their man is largely endowed. <br> 5. Some women like their mans average size dick. <br> 4. ...

0 Comments, 124 Views, 16 Votes ,5.04 Score
She has soooo many names...   11/14/2004

I am a young, intelligent and sexually active guy here on AdultFriendFinder. I've had the pleasure and priveledge to meet quite a few good people and quite a few characters!!! One person in particular comes to mind... Let's just call him JOE. joe is a good friend whom I've now known for about 6 months on AdultFriendFinder. He is a very nice and intelligent individual!1 In fact he reminds me a lot of myself. But Joe ...

1 Comments, 46 Views, 21 Votes ,3.87 Score
Fun Ways to boot out a one-night stand   11/12/2004

Have fun.... <br> Ladies: Fun Ways to Boot out a One-Night-Stand… By: Tilly Rivers <br> This is just for fun… no offence intended…. A laugh ladies and gentleman, some times sex is taken way too seriously. <br> 1. Ask him what his ten-year plan is for your future … 2. Look him directly in the eye and ask him if he would like to ...

0 Comments, 40 Views, 24 Votes ,5.29 Score
CadillacLady 50 F
6  Articles
I will Survive-- with a twist...   11/7/2004

At first I was afraid, I was petrified, When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on.... <br> But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big Mac and you've bought me a French fry! I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic ...

2 Comments, 65 Views, 47 Votes ,8.17 Score
My Redheaded Cock   11/2/2004

My redheaded cock In a made to mesure sock If you give him a shower He'll grow like a tower He'll be happy when carresed Squezed, pulled, or kessed A light tap on the head He'll jump up to be fed Spit on him he'll be happy Slip sliding and being flopy Tiny fingers around his neck To get him hard and long, he likes to be called prick - Hey prick like to come inside? - ...

0 Comments, 14 Views, 14 Votes ,4.74 Score
CadillacLady 50 F
6  Articles
~A day in the life of Kit's Penis~   11/2/2004

A Day In The Life Of KIT'S Penis.... <br> 6:15am Wakeupwakeupwakeup! My God, will he ever wake up? Every day it's the same: I'm raring to go by dawn, ready to meet the world, or at least the bathroom, while Kit's face down and drooling on his pillow. Squishing me to boot. <br> My only recourse is to swell up to full size, making my presence felt. LIKE THIS. MORNING ...

0 Comments, 40 Views, 32 Votes ,7.27 Score
rm_dave242349 66 M
41  Articles
Contemplating having ?   11/1/2004

Preparation for Parenthood <br> <br> Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the spare room. Here are 12 simple tests for the expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother or father. <br> 1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the ...

1 Comments, 23 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
hotmelcouple 41 C
1  Article
jokes from the workshop   10/30/2004

Whats a condom and a camera have in common? They both capture the moment!

0 Comments, 63 Views, 26 Votes ,4.97 Score
seaboy1984 40 M
139  Articles
Are Relationships Our Mirrors?   10/28/2004

If we learn to see our relationships as the wonderfully accurate mirrors they are, revealing to us where we need to go with our own inner process, we can see much about ourselves that we would otherwise have a great deal of difficulty learning. <br> One of the biggest differences between the path of the material world, the path of transcendence, and the path of transformation is ...

0 Comments, 16 Views, 18 Votes ,4.08 Score
SexVirussss 40 M
139  Articles
What is Key to successfull Relations?   10/26/2004

I have seen lot of breakups in my life. Some time what made them to separate from each other. Few days ago they were saying they could not live without each other and now they are not even interested to talk. What was wrong? Where mistakes has been made? How to avoid them? What is the key to successfull relations? Share your thoughts and views with me so we all can learn from them.

1 Comments, 30 Views, 20 Votes
Funny ha ha   10/22/2004

A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor I think my wife is dead", the looks at him and says "What make you think that", the man replies "Well the sex is the same but the washing is piling up"

0 Comments, 22 Views, 25 Votes ,7.00 Score

LoL, I thought this was just too much and had to shar it with all of you. I was searching sites and fell upon this one in general. It is a site to help people who have a "Sexual Addiction". This is a quote from the main page: <br> "Sexual addiction is rapidly becoming recognized as a major social problem with similarities more well-known to alcohol and drug addiction or ...

5 Comments, 87 Views, 65 Votes ,7.31 Score
Leaking ass   10/10/2004

My girlfriend started taking this medidine that was a fat blocker. She is a little over weight , at the most 20 pounds or so. Anyway this medicine is the nastiest thing that someone could ever take. Everywhere she would go fat would be leaking out her ass. The fat looked just like cooking oil but a darker redish color. She taught gymnastics and on one ocassion she was sitting on the floor in the ...

1 Comments, 45 Views, 30 Votes ,0.49 Score
rm_Lethe5 34 M
1  Article
I just don't know what else to do...   10/9/2004

Two friends are out drinking one night when one turns to the other, sighs then says, "I just don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom I ease into ...

0 Comments, 28 Views, 66 Votes ,8.30 Score
sexycouple458 66 C
1  Article


0 Comments, 24 Views, 15 Votes ,2.52 Score
seafearer73 65 M
2  Articles
Internet date , HELP someone   10/5/2004

Ah internet dating some thing evil this way comes and it comes in a package of pictures and blank written words with no emotion or body language to read. Size and shape are all distorted everyone is anonymous. Well I have a few stories to tell about it and so does everyone. I tell you I have had nightmares about this one. It all starts with a simple internet sight. A dating sight I meet ...

0 Comments, 22 Views, 11 Votes ,5.60 Score
When Meeting for first time   9/29/2004

What's a girl to do when someone push her into touching him or her even though you said that the relations will be chatting for first and after that you can decide what then. But if you like the guy/girl, would you go for it?

0 Comments, 19 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
kinkydetroitcpl2 50 C
13  Articles
farts in bed   9/29/2004

Why does she miss the humor of my love farts.

0 Comments, 33 Views, 10 Votes ,3.78 Score
rm_SajanSajni 61 C
9  Articles
Husband Shopping Center   9/25/2004

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. <br> The only rule was that once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down ...

0 Comments, 28 Views, 46 Votes ,9.33 Score
rm_SajanSajni 61 C
9  Articles
Tune   9/25/2004

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." <br> The husband says "WHAT??" <br> The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal ...

0 Comments, 29 Views, 29 Votes ,7.35 Score
a union of religions   9/24/2004

A young irish lad was shagging a young jewish girl.he said to her"Your not very tight for a jew"..She replied"And your not very thick for a paddy"

0 Comments, 24 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
On Fire   9/16/2004

There was this guy that I would occasionally hook up with. One evening he asked me to come to his house for a lil fun. He asked me to wear a black skirt with no panties. Of course, I agreed. Now it was the middle of winter and freezing cold. After sometime I arrived at his house freezing, and told him that it probably would take a crow bar to pry my legs open. He stood me in front of ...

1 Comments, 63 Views, 40 Votes ,7.23 Score
partybang 38 F
1  Article
Anal Firsts   9/15/2004

Tucker tries buttsex; hilarity does not ensue <br> <br> by Tucker Max <br> <br> I spent the summer between my 2nd and 3rd year of college suckling on the parental teat in South Florida. It was the absolute prime of my “do anything to get laid” phase. I was recently freed from a 4-year long-distance relationship that began in high ...

3 Comments, 181 Views, 74 Votes ,7.62 Score
rm_Weliketri 44 M
3  Articles
Tell u one thing when they really want it   9/5/2004

I had this one girl that i was dating that told me that she wanted to save herself, that she made a promise and didnt want to break it....this promise was that she wouldnt have vaginal sex until she was out of college...a ludicrous promise but nonetheless...i couldnt get anything from her...nothing at all...then finally she agreed to let me fuck her her promise would remain ...

0 Comments, 37 Views, 34 Votes ,3.33 Score
Friendly's   8/26/2004

When I first started going out with my girlfriend, we went to an ice cream store called Friendly's. I ordered what I wanted then let her order...she looked at the waitress and said "I'd like a Reese's Penis Cup." I buckled over laughing as she got red at her Freudian slip... <br> Of course, later I gave her what she really wanted, but for then and there, she got her ice cream

0 Comments, 23 Views, 38 Votes ,7.14 Score
popcorn23 38 M
3  Articles
Never break !!!   8/17/2004

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, work on it as hard as you possibly can. And if you can't fix what's broke, it's smarter to cut your losses and get out than it is to stay for two years trying to fix it in vain.

0 Comments, 17 Views, 31 Votes ,6.12 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
Blow Job   8/11/2004

Q: What is the best thing about a blow job? <br> A: The five minutes of silence.

1 Comments, 24 Views, 129 Votes ,6.83 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
Success to a Male   8/11/2004

To a man, the meaning of success depends on his age: <br> At age 4, success is not peeing in his pants. <br> At age 16, success is "gettin' a little". <br> At age 50, success is about career and family. <br> At age 65, success is "gettin' a little". <br> At age 90, success is not peeing in his pants.

0 Comments, 20 Views, 45 Votes ,6.59 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
Threesome   8/11/2004

Mary: My last boyfriend said he fantasized about having two girls at once. <br> Jill: Yeah, most men do. What did you tell him? <br> Mary: I said, "If you can't satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?"

0 Comments, 28 Views, 115 Votes ,9.15 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
True Meaning of Weddings   8/9/2004

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" <br> "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life, " her mother explained, keeping it simple. <br> The thought for a moment and said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

0 Comments, 29 Views, 32 Votes ,7.37 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
Little Flasher   8/9/2004

There was an exhibitionist that wanted to flash someone. He went to the airport and looked around. He saw a young lady taking tickets and he went to the end of the line. When he got to the front, he opened his jacket and flashed her. <br> She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

0 Comments, 21 Views, 59 Votes ,8.33 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
Doggy Style   8/9/2004

Two buddies were sharing drinks and discussing their wives. <br> "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asked the one. <br> "Well, not exactly, " his friend replied. "She's more into the 'trick dog' aspect of it." <br> "Oh, I see. Kinky, huh?" <br> "Well, not exactly -- I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

0 Comments, 35 Views, 77 Votes ,8.35 Score
LicksKittysplit 39 M
30  Articles
My Wife's a Liar   8/9/2004

"That wife of mine is a liar, " said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him at the bar. <br> "How do you know?" the friend asked. <br> "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said that she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley." <br> "So?" <br> "So she's a liar. I spent the night ...

0 Comments, 134 Views, 61 Votes ,8.63 Score
what were they thinking for the matter what was i thinking   8/6/2004

ok this a little story of a 34 female who after her divorce went 2 years with out sex , then one day she came across AdultFriendFinder well it was like a in a candy store lol.well she put a profile up described what she was lookin for in detail even put some pictures up , waited to see what would happen checked back in a couple of days and wow so many ims what to do now so she read , replied to some of ...

0 Comments, 30 Views, 22 Votes ,4.33 Score
passionatemover 55 F
2  Articles
How to be a good wife/partner LOL   7/29/2004

Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets better) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part ...

1 Comments, 67 Views, 37 Votes ,6.54 Score
rm_TracyGlyn 53 C
2  Articles
The night i met my hubby   7/29/2004

Me & a few friends of mine were out clubbing, we had been dancing most of night & decided to go cool off & get another drink at the coffee bar(yes I did say coffee bar n no we weren't drinking coffee lol), the place was packed as per usual so we squashed ourselves onto one half of a table. We got chatting to some guys who were sat on the other side of the table & by this time we were all ...

0 Comments, 16 Views, 53 Votes ,5.20 Score
coolwinterclass 52 M
5  Articles
A wife and a job   7/28/2004

Whats the differance between your job and your wife of 15 years? <br> <br> <br> Your job still Sucks!

0 Comments, 33 Views, 49 Votes ,6.23 Score
AlwayzBetOnBlack 43 M
1  Article
The pay back   7/26/2004

A friend shared this story with me and it is a must read for all guys! <br> He was a freshman in College/University, and he was out partying having a typicla college night. This hot girl and her friends come in who are in second year he decides to step to her. Well this 2nd year Diva totally blows him off. She even grand stands as she is infront of all of her friends and ...

0 Comments, 39 Views, 27 Votes ,2.08 Score
munkeyphist 64 M
2  Articles
Never give a woman a watch   7/25/2004

Why should you never give a woman a watch? <br> Because there's one on the friggin stove!!

0 Comments, 11 Views, 33 Votes
Why You Might Not Deserve a Hot, Older Woman   7/20/2004

Men, are you looking for that hot, older woman experience? Do you think that your young age is all that is necessary to attract her? Are you finding out that things aren't quite going your way in the seduction department? Well, I'm here to help you boys with a list of tips and suggestions: <br> 1. Come-on line that never works: "You remind me of my mom and she's pretty cool." ...

0 Comments, 44 Views, 63 Votes ,7.98 Score
ncmtnwoman 43 F
0  Articles
Temptations   7/13/2004

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when ...

0 Comments, 125 Views, 73 Votes ,9.44 Score
RE: Something for the cock nazis   7/7/2004

This complaint is no different than the man who requests a specific breast, waist or ass size. Barbie isn't common either!

0 Comments, 61 Views, 23 Votes ,3.83 Score
rm_blue_ice 50 M
7  Articles
Impressing   7/5/2004

Impressing a woman: -Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hug her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Laugh with her. Cry withher. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Write poetry for her. Go to the end of the earth and back again for her. Impressing a man: -Show up naked. Bring beer.

0 Comments, 19 Views, 49 Votes ,7.86 Score
Cake or bed??   6/25/2004


0 Comments, 22 Views, 56 Votes ,7.79 Score
Making his Jaw Drop!   6/15/2004

So you say your boy has a past. Well so do many women. I find it hilarious that men think they're locker room secrecy is amusing. No actually - It pratically takes all the air in any room your in with them. 2 men hide the truth in secrecy about their minds. The silence is thick as water. Its amusing to know men have so little control of the mind. So join his amused ...

0 Comments, 24 Views, 50 Votes
Re:how long do you wait to unleash those 'other' bodily functions?   6/13/2004

My husband got me good one night early on in our relationship by farting in bed and then waving the blankets on my side so it came up at me. I got him back the next night by belching a day's-worth of gas in his ear. I think we'd been together about five months at that point, and I'd just moved in with him. But we were completely comfortable with each other and capable of doing those ...

0 Comments, 26 Views, 34 Votes ,6.57 Score
A Tall Erotic Tail   6/8/2004

I'm traveling around the country visiting friends and when I get to an old friends town. He graciouly invites me to stay at his house. After an evening of drinking wine and talking about old times. Leaving us both buzzed and happy by the time we call it a night. I go to the bathroom and when I come out he is standing in the hall. I smile. Goodnight, I say. Goodnight, he says but neither of ...

0 Comments, 143 Views, 61 Votes ,3.89 Score
dnawoman 49 F
9  Articles
virgin ?   5/31/2004

A couple is laying in bed, post-coital. The woman leans over and SMACKS her husband. "What was that for?" he asks. "That!" she exclaims, "was for being a lousy lover!" He thinks about it for a minute, then reaches over and SMACKS her. "What was THAT for?" she cries, outraged. "THAT was for knowing the difference...."

0 Comments, 35 Views, 79 Votes ,8.84 Score
rm_heartbrekr28 33 M
1  Article
For The Guys   5/25/2004

This is my first article but I know it will be a good one because I know something about women that guys don't realize til its too late. Men out there...Most women are indeed crazy. Ladies let me explain myself before I am crucified for my words. Women are crazy in the sense that they know what drives men wild...romantically, sexually and mentally. This is why they ae crazy. If they ...

0 Comments, 57 Views, 45 Votes ,5.86 Score
rm_curt3026 36 M
1  Article
Women who fart while your ****ing them.......   5/20/2004

Ok its like this. Just about every woman i've slept with farts while i'm ****ing them. It's not an *ss fart but a ****y fart. Sometimes it makes me feel alittle nausea, but I know it's not her *ss. While she's farting and i'm pumping, her ****Y starts to get tighter and tighter. I know that it's her cummy ****y but it just doesn't seem like it. Please someone tell me if this has ever ...

0 Comments, 36 Views, 59 Votes ,4.26 Score
dnawoman 49 F
9  Articles
expedient marriage   5/9/2004

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be ...

0 Comments, 42 Views, 72 Votes ,8.46 Score
GirlsImReady84 40 M
13  Articles
How To Prey on a woman Weaknesses   5/9/2004

Work Her Body If you’ve managed to attract the interest of a beautiful woman free of charge, feed her body image paranoia so she doesn’t come to her senses. She’s worried about not getting enough exercise? Remind her that sex is great for cardio. She’s worried about extra calories? That’s twice the Fluffernutters for you! <br> Ride Her Mood ...

0 Comments, 25 Views, 60 Votes
rm_johndali 48 M
11  Articles
My first blind date in college   5/8/2004

I had just arrived to college, and my art school was in one of the wettest cities in the US (hell the world!!): Seattle. <br> But soon, a friend had arranged for a blind date. Isn’t that great! ‒ so I slicked my hair and drove to her house ‒ in the best part of town by the way. <br> I walked up for what seemed half a mile of lawn, and of course --- ...

0 Comments, 14 Views, 70 Votes ,5.58 Score
dnawoman 49 F
9  Articles
most popular sex position?   5/5/2004

I heard this joke the other day. Not that it's true on this site... but still kind of cute. <br> The AMA did a study and asked Americans what their favorite sex position is. Number one was Doggie Style. That is when the man sits up and begs and the woman rolls over and plays dead. <br> drum roll. <br> OK well I told you it wasn't true for people on here ...

0 Comments, 50 Views, 137 Votes ,8.52 Score
Try Not to Misplace Your Belongings...   4/30/2004

Okay, this is pretty personal, but I guess I can share it with you guys. <br> <br> My friends and I were in an accident and had to go to therapy. First we had to do these exercises and massages, and I was assigned to go to the tub. Well, after the bath, I couldn't find my underwear anywhere! The nurse probably brushed them off somewhere, but when I put on a towel and ...

0 Comments, 23 Views, 33 Votes ,3.88 Score
passionatemover 55 F
2  Articles
How to be a good wife/partner 1955 vs 2004   4/26/2004

Be a good wife. 1955 (keep reading it gets batter) Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the ...

0 Comments, 37 Views, 77 Votes ,8.44 Score
rm_two4fun1962 51 F
115  Articles
Re: women who say i like everything   4/21/2004

Possibly when a woman says this, she means she likes and wants everything done to her. Maybe some women who say this, then have a negative response to giving you oral sex, just aren't very comfortable with the idea of having a man's **** in her mouth <some women are taught this is a dirty thing>, possibly she gags because she hasn't yet mastered her gag reflex. I am for one, a woman ...

0 Comments, 15 Views, 51 Votes ,5.01 Score
rm_Morocco1982 41 M
9  Articles
Speeding and Bass Aren't Drugs   4/19/2004

This is to the women of this site. I ask you a question, in all honesty, and I would love a response. Are there any women on this entire fucking planet who are honestly turned on by guys with their stereos blasting and the bass thumping!? I've pulled up to a car filled with women while my bass rattles my back windshield and never ONCE has any of them said to me, "Oooohhhh, nothing makes ...

0 Comments, 70 Views, 42 Votes ,5.47 Score
rm_Morocco1982 41 M
9  Articles
Basketball, football, baseball...but not tennis.   4/17/2004

Rodney Carrington said it best when he proved how men created sports because apparently, we get tired of thinking about pussy 24 hours a day. Football has uprights through the middle, baseball has the home runs, and basketball is five guys fighting five other guys for a hole. Just like this website or your local club. Yeah, it still doesn't work. As a college student, I have ...

0 Comments, 19 Views, 41 Votes ,7.08 Score
rm_Morocco1982 41 M
9  Articles
Take a left at the Chevron...   4/17/2004

The first time I got laid, I felt like Indiana Jones. I didn’t have a whip, even though the girl did. I felt like him because I was searching for that elusive little fucker known as the “G” spot. I was certain it existed, surely it wasn’t made up? I mean, there’s no way millions of women would lie about a spot that would make them scream with orgasmic ...

0 Comments, 20 Views, 36 Votes ,5.14 Score
The Defination of a "Kiss"   4/8/2004

Prof. of Economics: Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher. Prof. of Accountancy: Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. Prof. of Algebra: Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips. Prof. of Physics: Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. ...

0 Comments, 17 Views, 50 Votes ,6.31 Score
sexy18manderz 35 F
1  Article
Sometimes I really hate him.   4/1/2004

I have a great boyfriend, dont get me wrong he treats me well and is a wonderful person. It just seems that at times he really annoys me, just little things, and sometimes big things. At first I thought, okay maybe I am just about to start my period so I am letting him get to me or whatever. Well, I think I am wrong about that. I just hate him sometimes. Last week, we were hanging out, just ...

0 Comments, 28 Views, 34 Votes ,3.42 Score
Your permission slip   3/14/2004

APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE <br> Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: <br> I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period: <br> Date: Time of departure: Time of return: <br> Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated ...

0 Comments, 15 Views, 69 Votes ,6.32 Score
pepsidave48653 46 M
1  Article
New rating system   3/8/2004

Jack and Bill were knocking back beers and shooting the shit at a bar when a hot chick walked in. "I'd give her a Seven, : Jack said. Bill shook his head and said, "One." Another hot babe walked in. "Whoa, " Jack drooled, "that one gets a nine!" Bill shrugged, "Maybe a two." "Wait a minute, " Jack protested. "These two girls were the best ones I've seen in a long time, and all ...

0 Comments, 102 Views, 78 Votes ,7.43 Score
wife hubby...   3/7/2004

husband: i think u enjoy a lot while doing sex... wife: yep i do enjoy a lot ... it would have been better if u were there to see my enjoyemnt....

0 Comments, 23 Views, 89 Votes ,5.48 Score
phantomsex4u 53 M
9  Articles
How to get a man's attention   2/21/2004

This has got to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It appeared in the Atlanta Journal. Companion Wanted: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pick-up truck, hunting, camping, fishing trips, and cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will ...

0 Comments, 61 Views, 184 Votes ,9.26 Score
rm_tazmania694u 56 M
23  Articles
A friendly encounter   2/20/2004

I had this really good friend named Dave who also had a friend named Rusty. Well, Rusty had this really knockout girlfriend named Candy. Dave is a real bullshitter and I didn't believe half of the wild stories he told, so I just ignored his comments about how wild Candy got when she got drunk. He told me how Rusty was the type of guy that only wanted it about once or twice a week and ...

0 Comments, 39 Views, 67 Votes ,2.84 Score
merrymaker13 47 M
2  Articles
maybe not the best way to alleviate her nerves   2/19/2004

When I was several years younger, I had started seeing this girl but we hadn't yet had sex. She had had only one partner prior to our relationship and he hadn't exactly treated her well after taking her virginity, and so she was still nervous about the whole deal. After some weeks, she had grown comfortable enough with the idea of us to take the plunge. So we had a nice romantic night out, ...

0 Comments, 18 Views, 50 Votes ,7.45 Score
REMEMBER TO TAKE IT OFF!!!   2/17/2004

My friend & I met these two guys from out of town, they were only here for a short time building a house. We went to dinner, then to a local bar for drinks and dancing. There wasn't a whole lot of dancing going on, but there was groping under the table. We drove back to their motel and my friend, with her date, went upstairs. I stayed in the car with my date for a while talking ...

1 Comments, 487 Views, 119 Votes ,7.09 Score
RideDisTungue 41 M
1  Article
His and her road trips   2/17/2004

His & Hers Road Trips HERS 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window. 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer. 4. Arrives at destination presently. <br> HIS 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it's the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he's right. 3. Drives an extra five miles just in case. 4. Finally rolls ...

1 Comments, 170 Views, 43 Votes ,5.73 Score
onesillyhatch 43 M
3  Articles
oops my ass!   2/10/2004

so there I was with my girl in college. Lights out dormroom all to ourselves. How did I know it was all to myself? my roommate and I had a code if the sock was in the door, DO NOT ENTER. So my girl and I were happily going at in and all of a sudden the door pops open and this hot girl michele was standing there staring. Of course my ass was up in the air from pounding away and she just ...

0 Comments, 68 Views, 56 Votes ,3.40 Score
a funny "nightmare"   1/27/2004

This happened a few years back, but I still laugh thinking about it. One night, after several drinks, my husband and I were having sex. Well, I must have been really, really loud because the next thing we knew was that our was at our door and about to open it. My husband jumped out of the bed, which was funny in itself because it was dark and he tripped over the cover, grabbed something to ...

0 Comments, 68 Views, 37 Votes ,6.45 Score
windwalker2594 55 C
4  Articles
RE: just sitting in the truck   1/12/2004

My wife left out a bunch of stuff! this is what happened. we had been up for a day or two and it was in the middle of the night and it was extremly hot so i was driving down the road with just my shirt off. well we pulled into a truck stop i put my shirt on not realizing i still had my seatbelt still on. well i asked her to pick up some goodys from the store i was going to go in to the ...

0 Comments, 77 Views, 69 Votes ,2.94 Score
sparkyrotc2 36 F
1  Article
Deep, hard question...   1/6/2004

I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You ...

0 Comments, 109 Views, 88 Votes ,7.89 Score
Whiskey Dick   12/31/2003

Guys: it's bad enough you're so fucking drunk that you'll probably puke on yourself & you smell like a vodka tonic, but what the fuck makes you think we want to waste our time waiting to see if you can get your "flexi-dick" in the hole?!!

0 Comments, 24 Views, 76 Votes ,7.36 Score
ever watch your guy bake a cake?   12/31/2003

I've been dating this guy for over a year... I have never seen anyone bake a cake quite the way he did... I began to smell the cake and since I have been cooking for some 30 or more years LOL I can tell by the smell when something iz done cooking... I told him to check the cake to make sure it waz done. (I new it waz) he opened the door to the oven, and closed it... saying the cake waz not ...

0 Comments, 18 Views, 54 Votes ,8.94 Score
lynn299 56 F
3  Articles
we were setting in the truck   12/31/2003

my husband was setting in his truck so tired that he could not stand up.we stoped at a truck stop.gene told me to go get something up.he said he had to pee so when he went to get out of the truck he still had his seatbelt on well he about had a fit becoused he could not get out.i told him to unastened his seatbelt then he could get out (hell it worked)now i think he will think before he ...

0 Comments, 46 Views, 34 Votes ,0.72 Score
rm_youley 46 F
2  Articles
When your sex partner packs a wallop make sure that you can handle it before you actually see it.   12/26/2003

My second boyfriend and myself finally decided to get busy. We were going to go the whole nine yards. Foreplay was excellent, I came four times. My boyfriend was very spontaneous, He licked and sucked every inch of my body. I went crazy everytime his tongue and fingers touched my pussy. He was talented. My nipples enjoyed his mouth. <br> Of course, we came to the part where I had ...

0 Comments, 54 Views, 83 Votes ,4.39 Score
3 types of sex in marriage   11/17/2003

When you are married, you have 3 types of sex. <br> Frist comes Kitchen Sex - you have sex everywhere. In the kitchen, living room, anywhere BUT the bedroom. <br> Second, you have Bedroom Sex, since isn't bee a few years and you might have , and the bedroom is the only place you can have sex. <br> A few years after that, you start to have Hallway Sex. You ...

0 Comments, 25 Views, 102 Votes ,7.63 Score
law93rd 52 M
4  Articles
First Three Weeks   11/10/2003

Why is it that the first two or three weeks of a fling are the best? Her tits are firmer, pussy tastes better, and there's more energy in the sex? Do I just get bored or do other people have that same problem?

0 Comments, 14 Views, 32 Votes ,4.46 Score
AngelEyesInMo 46 F
11  Articles
Confucious Says...   11/9/2003

A flirtatious man at a local gas station shared the following with me: Do you know what Confucious says? Confucious says that does not exist. Myself being witty responded, and why is that, because you can't the willing? No he stated, because women run faster with dress that is up than men with pants that are down.

0 Comments, 60 Views, 37 Votes ,6.11 Score
Humour   10/26/2003

A sense of humour comes in very handy to help you through those rough patches.

0 Comments, 34 Views, 88 Votes ,6.38 Score
imacthis 62 M
2  Articles
Uner Pressure   10/24/2003

About 5 years ago on a hot September night, my girlfriend at the time and I went out to the Claim Jumper for dinner. If you have ever eaten there, you know they serve the largest portions than just about anywhere. We had a couple of cocktails before dinner and drank a bottle of wine while I stuffed myself until I could hardly breathe. When we got back home, we sat in the Jacuzzi and had a ...

0 Comments, 31 Views, 100 Votes ,7.44 Score
lmnxsean 124 M
4  Articles
Grandparents get it on!   10/23/2003

Grandma & Grandpa were sittin' & a rockin'on the front porch while I was fixin' the window on the side of the house, they didn't know I overheard them talkin' dirty to each other, hell they're 90 yrs. old! Gramma said to gramps " Hey! FUCK YOU granpa" and she just kept rockin'. a little while later gramps says "Well ya know what, FUCK YOU TOO Gramma" and they just kept rockin'. After ...

0 Comments, 93 Views, 125 Votes ,8.63 Score