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| Blogs > rm_CPL6364 > Utah/Ok Connection |
Jodies
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Jodies Ahh, jodies. A fond memory for most military folks. Many lost throughout the ages, forgotten, meaning lost, or completly obiliterated from military life by political correctness. If you happen to know any, please add it to the comments! To those that don't know what I'm talking about...In the armed services, a military cadence or cadence call is a traditional call-and-response work song sung by military personnel while running or marching. One of my favorites I kept over the years (and was removed due to political correctness) used some of the following verses below. After each verse, usually sung by the leader, but sometimes everyone sung together, the chorus was used. It was lots of fun to sing when marching and passing a marching female group. Chorus - Hey pretty lady, whaddaya say pretty lady? Versus - If all the young ladies were teachers with class I’d get all my A’s by pounding their ass If all of the laddies were tellers at banks I’d be a thief and steal all their francs And all you young ladies who ain't had a scholar Step into my class, and I'll make you hollar If all of the laddies were policemen so strong I’d take care of their needs all the night long If all the young ladies were trees in the wood I'd fill all their knotholes as long as I could If all the young ladies were deep as a well, I'd fill them up slow (and I'd never tell) I once knew a girl, a teller and banker I kept her bum red, ‘cause she begged me to spank her If all the young ladies were tellers in banks I’d make my deposit from the end of my franc If all the young ladies were tellers of fortunes I’d be the future that eased all their tension If all the young ladies were so wild and thorny I’d be the one who’s there when their horny If all the young ladies were welders of steel I’d be the rod that made them all kneel If all the young ladies were chickens and hens I’d be the cock for which they all yen If all the young ladies were witches of magic I’d be the wand that made them go spastic If all the young ladies wore leather and lace I’d be the tailor that covered their space If all the young ladies were sheep on a lawn, Well, I'd be a Scotsman from dusk until dawn If all the young ladies were drinkin’ mead wine I’d give them a taste from this keg of mine (And yes Rose.. it can be used as a sippy straw) I wish all of the girls were fish in a pool And I was a whale with a<b> waterproof </font></b>tool. If all of the girls were bells in a tower And I was a clapper, I'd bang one each hour If all of the girls were fish in the ocean And I was a wave (or whale) I'd teach them the motion. If all of the girls were little white rabbits And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits. If all the young ladies were B-29's, And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds. If all the young ladies were bats in a steeple And I were a bat---there'd be more bats than people. If all the young ladies were bricks on a pile, Then I'd be the mason and I'd lay them in style. If all the young ladies were diamonds and rubies And I were a jeweler, I'd shine up their boobies. If all the young ladies were little white kittens And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's If all the young ladies were rushes a-growing, I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing. If all the young ladies were singing this song It would be twice as dirty and three times as long. If all the young ladies were up for improvement. I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement. If all the young ladies were wheels on a car, Then I'd be the piston and go twice as far. If all the young lassies were bells in a tower And I were a clapper I'd bang every hour If all the young lassies were doors of stout wood And I were a knocker I'd bang 'em up good If all the young lassies were like pies on the shelf, Then I'd be the baker and eat them myself. If all the young lassies were like statues of Venus, I'd be equipped with a petrified penis. If all the young lassies were locks on a gate I'd be a key and insert and rotate If all the young lassies were pure as they say All the young lads would be happy and gay If all the young lassies were sheep in the clover Then I’d be a ram and I’d ram ’em all over If all the young lassies were winds of the sea I'd be a sail and I'd let them blow me If all the young ladies were little white vixen I'd be a fox an' I'd chase an' I'd fix 'em All the young ladies were grapes on the vine I'd be a plucker an' have me a time If all the young ladies were little white rabbits I'd be a hare and I'd teach 'em bad habits If all the young ladies were sweet fruits and berries I'd handle their melons and nibble their cherries If all the were like cows in the pasture I'd be a bull and fill them with rapture If all the were like mares in the stable I'd be a stallion and show them I'm able If all the young ladies were pure as they say All the young men would be happy... and gay! I wish all the girls were like statues of Venus I'd be a Greek with a petrified penis. If all the young ladies were little red foxes And I were a hunter I'd shoot up their boxes If all the were like diamonds and rubies I'd be a jeweler and polish their boobies If all them young ladies was little white kittens And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's If all them young ladies was rushes a-growing, I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing. If all the young laddies became nice chew toys I'd be the one who had trained all those boys. If all the young laddies were bakers of pie I'd be the bread yeast and make them all rise If all the young laddies were barrles of whiskey rye I'd turn on their spigots and drink they all dry If all the young laddies were big as they say Then nary a lass would be walkin' this day! If all the young laddies were boards on the floor I'd lay meself down and make them creak more If all the young laddies were boats on the ocean I'd be the wave, and I'd show 'em the motion If all the young laddies were sailing through channels quite thin I'd be the lighthouse, and guide them all in If all the young laddies were jousters from France, I'd be the squire and spitshine their lance If all the young laddies were bells in a tower, I'd be the clapper and *bang* on the hour If all the young laddies were bricks in a pile I'd be the mason and lay them in style If all the young laddies were butchers so sweet, I'd swing from their hooks and I'd pound on their meat If all the young laddies were watches in bright shiny cases I'd be the hands and I'd sit on their faces If all the young laddies were bottles of beer I'd give good head and they'd be of good cheer If all the young laddies were bricks in a pile I'd be the mason and lay them with style If all the young laddies were butchers so sweet I'd hang on their hooks and I'd pound on their meat If all the young laddies were clouds puffy and gray I'd be the wind and I'd blow them all day If all the young laddies were coconuts sweet I'd suck out their juices and chew on their meat If all the young laddies were cows by a stream I'd lay meself down and lick up the cream If all the young laddies were fish in the ocean I'd be the waves and show them the motion If all the young laddies were flames in a fire I'd be the bellows and blem them all higher If all the young laddies were grapes in the sun Id grab a big bunch, squeeze their juice one by one If all the young laddies were grapes on the vine I'd be the one to make them all wine If all the young laddies were hounds on a spree I'd be the fox and I'd let them chase me If all the young laddies were keys to a gate I'd be the lock, insert and rotate If all the young laddies were little white flowers I'd be a bee a suck them for hours If all the young laddies were milk in a cup I'd be a kitten and lick them all up If all the young laddies were potter of clay I'd sit on their wheels and rotate all day If all the young laddies were sharks in the sea I'd be a minnow and let them eat me If all the young laddies were ships on the sea I'd be the waves and I'd let them ride me If all the young laddies were singin' this ditty It would be twice as long, but just half as witty If all the young laddies were singing this song It’d be over too quick and it’d be half as long If all the young laddies were steeds in a stable I'd be the groom and mount all I'm able If all the young laddies were Toms on the prowl I'd be the kitten that makes them all yowl If all the young laddies were watches in shiny gold cases I'd be the hands and I'd sit on their faces If all the young laddies were waves in the sea I'd be the shore and I'd let them lick me If all the young laddies were pies on a shelf I'd be the baker and eat them meself CPL6364 |
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