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Please don't tell me you are a Dom if you are not  

ginger_snatch 55F
13 posts
4/19/2022 1:16 pm
Please don't tell me you are a Dom if you are not

I understand that most people on this site are trying to find a quick, easy, "drama free", fuck and I appreciate that. I also understand that some of us have our own kinks or are kink<b> curious. </font></b>I believe we should all express that part of ourselves, try everything we fantasize about at least once if we can because, hey, we only live once and we have to make it the best life we can in all ways.

Some of us are looking for something specific, sometimes very specific. I happen to fall into that category. I am submissive and am looking for a Dom or an Alpha. I need that in my life for reasons that are my own. I also need a bit (or perhaps a lot, I am not sure yet) of BDSM. I would prefer to have someone who has experience in these areas as I am a bit new to the lifestyles and I feel that having someone who has had experience in this lifestyle would be to my benefit.

It is interesting to note how many men tell me they are Doms (Alpha) but when I ask very specific questions about their Dom (Alpha) boundaries or expectations, they cannot answer. An experienced Dom (Alpha) will be happy to answer the questions I ask because he knows the importance of they dynamics of power exchange, he understands that this type of relationship commands mutual respect and trust, which takes time to build. I think most of the people I talk to are looking for play partners where they can experience perhaps a bit or kink, whether they have tried that kink before or are just wanting to try something new. I don't think they understand that a Dom/sub (Alpha/beta) relationship takes a lot of patience and vetting to make sure you are choosing a partner with whom you find a connection (sexual and otherwise), your kinks match, your understand and can agree to each others expectations and boundaries, you want the same things in the type of relationship you are entering into (monogomous/polyamorus), etc. There is a lot involved in a Dom/sub, Alpha/beta, BDSM relationship and at the end of the day it means the sub (beta) is putting their safety in the hands of their Dom (Alpha). Building a solid foundation is key.

Gentlemen, please don't tell anyone you are a Dom (Alpha) if you are not. If you want to be or tend to have the characteristics, you can say that and build on it within your sexual relationship if you choose. If you are simply curious, say that. Honesty is always the best policy and it will certainly establish a trust base necessary for a Dom/sub, Alpha/beta or BDSM relationship.

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