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My Blog
 
Welcome to my blog!
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Cheating
Posted:Jan 26, 2022 6:28 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:40 am
3437 Views

I was asked why am I even on this site if I have a good life and am in a good relationship...
Initially, I did not have an answer... I felt guilty and started experiencing a lot of really negative self talk.
It's weird... because there is a part of me that on a very primal level wants to explore other sexual relationships... not only sexual relationships, but what intimacy looks and feels like with another person.

In my early 20s, I cheated on a girlfriend. I was working out of town... basically gone 12 days and home for 2. I was on a construction crew and we were all pushing the limits of "hard living". We drank heavily, used a lot of drugs, screwed our brains out and still made it to work by 6am 6 days a week... then... I would drive a couple hundred miles home, get cleaned up and go out with my "girlfriend"... My gf and I would have an amazing weekend... only doing the fun stuff. Sunday night would roll around and I would head back to work... living a completely different life that those at home had no idea about. My gf and I prided ourselves on the fact that we had a no-drama relationship... in reality, we just never dealt with our problems... At one point, I decided I needed to step away from the lifestyle I was living and move back to my home town to sober up and make a change. My gf and I made it 2 weeks living together before she asked me to move out... the day to day together was overwhelming and we broke up. Ironically, about 4 months later, she gave me a call leaving a message I needed to call her back. I was thinking maybe she was pregnant... but when I called her, she told me I needed to get tested for an STD... as it turns out, she was fucking around on me too...
The other people I messed around with while with that gf were just flings, with the exception of one person... the sex was quite empty without the emotional connection.

At the moment, I have not had a physical affair on my current partner... there have been people I have come in contact with that it would be honest to say i had an emotional affair with several.

When I think of a fling, I view it as a mini vacation from my current reality. I don't want to live in that alternate reality, but I do want to visit sometimes.

Is it possible to have an affair or cheat without it fucking up your current relationship?

By the way... I'm a super flawed person who is trying to be open on a forum where nothing is at it appears... for some reason this feels somewhat safe to me. I welcome hearing your thoughts or hearing about your experiences.

The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.
-Yuri Orlov

-X
0 Comments
a trip to FL and some random thoughts
Posted:Jan 25, 2022 3:48 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:40 am
1987 Views

I have a trip coming up to FL and have been search/browsing to see if someone is looking for some NSA company... kind of curious how many people on here are real... how many are just looking.
Going through the search results, is it odd that some people's stated goal is to find a fulfilling long term relationship with the love of their life?...
Sometimes "just looking" fills the need for something a exciting without jumping into the deep end of the pool.
I've had times in my life where the anticipation and the fantasy of it was so much better than the real thing. I wonder if hooking up like this is the same thing.

I would be most interested to hear any of your stories...

Best,

-X
0 Comments
Happy Sunday
Posted:Jan 23, 2022 6:41 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:40 am
1356 Views

In

Case

Nobody

Told

You

Today....

You Are Beautiful!

You Are Loved!

You Are Strong!

You Are Enough!!!

-X
0 Comments
Open Relationships
Posted:Jan 22, 2022 12:23 pm
Last Updated:May 20, 2024 8:40 am
2454 Views

I am new to this space and figure that I'll publish daily, eventually someone will connect with what I'm saying or feeling.

I have spent the past 18 years in a monogamous relationship. The thought of venturing out and sampling "forbidden fruit" seems exciting but I'm curious how a real encounter plays out in real life.
Different partners an provide different levels of intimacy... There is a sexual energy and excitement browsing through the profiles... I can't help but think how important it is to connect with a partner on a emotional level... in fact, I feel the emotional connection is the most important. There have been times when my wife goes into sex like she's "taking one for the team"... Nothing feels worse than being with someone who doesn't want you back. Although she feels she's doing me a favor, it feels very transactional and I get more out of masturbating.
Those of you who have an active sex life on this site, I would be curious to hear how you navigate these encounters. Have you found any positives in hooking up outside of your current relationship? Do the interactions feel like you're taking one for the team or are you creating real intimacy with multiple partners... Have any of you found that your relationship at home improved when you were able to get your needs met outside of it? Just my thoughts/questions for the day...

You are amazing! ... just thought you should hear that

-X
0 Comments

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