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dadbodd46 48M
0 posts
1/26/2022 6:28 am

I was asked why am I even on this site if I have a good life and am in a good relationship...
Initially, I did not have an answer... I felt guilty and started experiencing a lot of really negative self talk.
It's<b> weird... </font></b>because there is a part of me that on a very primal level wants to explore other sexual relationships... not only sexual relationships, but what intimacy looks and feels like with another person.

In my early 20s, I cheated on a girlfriend. I was working out of town... basically gone 12 days and home for 2. I was on a construction crew and we were all pushing the limits of "hard living". We drank heavily, used a lot of drugs, screwed our brains out and still made it to work by 6am 6 days a week... then... I would drive a couple hundred miles home, get cleaned up and go out with my "girlfriend"... My gf and I would have an amazing weekend... only doing the fun stuff. Sunday night would roll around and I would head back to work... living a completely different life that those at home had no idea about. My gf and I prided ourselves on the fact that we had a no-drama relationship... in reality, we just never dealt with our problems... At one point, I decided I needed to step away from the lifestyle I was living and move back to my home town to sober up and make a change. My gf and I made it 2 weeks living together before she asked me to move out... the day to day together was overwhelming and we broke up. Ironically, about 4 months later, she gave me a call leaving a message I needed to call her back. I was thinking maybe she was pregnant... but when I called her, she told me I needed to get tested for an STD... as it turns out, she was fucking around on me too...
The other people I messed around with while with that gf were just flings, with the exception of one person... the sex was quite empty without the emotional connection.

At the moment, I have not had a physical affair on my current partner... there have been people I have come in contact with that it would be honest to say i had an emotional affair with several.

When I think of a fling, I view it as a mini vacation from my current reality. I don't want to live in that alternate reality, but I do want to visit sometimes.

Is it possible to have an affair or cheat without it fucking up your current relationship?

By the way... I'm a super flawed person who is trying to be open on a forum where nothing is at it appears... for some reason this feels somewhat safe to me. I welcome hearing your thoughts or hearing about your experiences.

The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.
-Yuri Orlov


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