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| Blogs > EnigmaInitiative > Better Living Thru Hedonism |
Culture of Discontent
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Culture of Discontent  Will be continued in first comment because of the grammar gremlins. This week's HNW: Pink/Hearts (Or Chocolate) is available on the other side. |
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Once upon a time there was a website created with the intention of bringing people together. In the beginning, it was fun, exciting, and many people were connecting. Years later, it became a dumpster fire of division and derision. That website is [insert any number of sites here]. It's true, if you look anywhere, on any site, there are people who are fed up with the way a website is working; how it is or isn't being moderated; and with other users in general. I have yet to find a “social” website where there isn't infighting, commentary, and/or death threats. Look, here we are on a sexually focused website, and there's a simmering war that's been going on in the blogs for as long as I can remember. I'm not going to name names, though I will say that I have chosen sides. If you're in the know, you know, if you're not....it's not up to me to tell you. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into a political diatribe about it. US politics, nor AdultFriendFinder politics. (Sorry other countries, I know jack all about your political organizations because I'm an American who grew up in one of the worst education systems inside one of the wealthiest nations in the world. [Oh the irony] There's just too much to learn and not enough time to learn it all fast enough for some people.). Neither, am I going to denigrate the very real harm that can and has happened as a result of these “wars”. I have no other social media. Well, unless you count youtube, but I really wouldn't call what I'm doing there social. Nope, I use it to learn new things, and spend no time...not even a second in the comments of any video. This is my one outlet to reach out to people, outside of the bubble I've created fulfilling my purpose of feeding and loving as many cats as I can. When Nick and I first started our non profit, I came on this website talking about the good we hoped to impart upon the world feeding and helping the homeless population. Then, life got in the way. The homeless encampment was moved by the police, the homeless man we had moved into our house broke his leg; and I was hacked and defrauded. With that, I being the socially awkward person with complex post traumatic stress disorder that I am, shifted my thinking to one caring for the homeless population of cats. Look, people scare me. History and the anonymity of the internet has taught me that people are cruel. Not everyone, of course, but too many are quick to insult or jab just because they want to be right or seen as smart, or whatever excuse they come up with doing the things they do. And, I'm not immune to this, I've said some things on the internet that I'm not proud of today. I've never issued death threats, but I've been a downright bitch to dudebros in my inbox pushing their penis upon me through profile pics petitioning for sex. (You all don't know how much I love the alliteration of that last phrase.) In fact, there's a person here whom I thought was my friend used a metaphor I thought I understood. Then, when I countered with my own metaphor, they decided to use my lack of knowledge as a gotcha moment. Like, I'm sorry I didn't pick up on every little nuance of your metaphor that was obviously off the mark based on recent updates. Their “gotcha”, it hurt. A lot. Do I think what they did was bullying? No, but that didn't change the feelings it created inside me. What did I do? Back away from the conversation as gracefully as possible. Do I hate this blogger? No, I don't typically harbor hate Do I still feel as though this blogger is a friend? No Does that mean I'll start being mean to them all over the website? No, that's what bullies do. And, I'm not going to contribute to the culture of discontent between bloggers that's already brewing here. So, look, the point of this whole thing I've written here is that sometimes, it's just best to walk away. Happy Sunday all And, thanks for reading. This week's HNW: Pink/Hearts (Or Chocolate) is available on the other side.
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1/9/2022 6:59 am |
Interesting
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I never have been able to figure people who enjoy stirring up trouble or causing people hurt. I suspect for many it is the only way they can feel any sense of power. The power to hurt. Sad isn't it. I cannot say I have not hurt others but I try not to do it with intent or out of reflex as I am sure you also try to avoid doing. As for the wars and sniping on here I try to ignore them completely. Big hugs to you and may you have a good day. If you see me in the real world, come say "Hi Justskin." I always behave. Preferably not well. 
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You had me spitting coffee with that "[insert any number of sites here]"! But I'll have to take your word for it, since social media-wise, this is pretty much it for me. Well actually, I did relent and join FB a while back since that is where the photography club interacts the most. But the few pages I follow there are rather strict about being ONLY about photography and ONLY positive remarks. I ALWAYS Miss Out on this Stuff The End of the Crackberry NYE Booze, on HNW [post 3312759] My Private Post - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets – Anything you write here is just between us
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Amen, you preach sista EI. Back in 2016 or so this place took a grand dump on itself over a female blogger who dared to talk about facts (of life and other-wise). Since then these here blogs took a slide. As far as "social"-media in general is concerned it is a deal that is failing to recognize that is has failed at being social. It is in fact ANTI-social-media and that is why I don't participate in it. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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P.S. cute pussy there  When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Well said, EnigmaInitiative. I won't get involved with any drama here!
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Completely agree Enig!! I have a story for ya...abt ' simply walking away '...will ya email me plz n thanku....
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Amen, well said
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I try to steer well clear of conflict on this site. Blog wars are a massive turn-off! 
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Sorry there was an issue. Wish everyone could get along. I do admire your maturity! Have a great day! 💋 Staci
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My real life is stressful enough.... This place can sometimes be my escape from that. When it comes to the drama and feuding that I see on here at times, I avoid it like the plague. It's a sad soul who can only find value in themselves by hurting someone else.
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1/9/2022 10:15 am |
Our problems here and on other social sites are a reflection of our leadership in many ways. We have become less civilized than generations before us. That isn't to say those generations were all that civilized, but things seem worse--or maybe just more openly vicious. We are taught by the political leaders (take your pick on either side of the aisle) and by the media and Hollywood to not tolerate opposing viewpoints. That gives many, even on here, a feeling of entitlement to verbally assault those we disagree with. I know of whom you refer to regarding the infighting. I don't take sides as I think both sides might share responsibility, but one side does seem a bit more aggressive.
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Sadly, there are more and more people that will hide behind a screen and deliberately try to make people's lives a misery.
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I am sorry about this kind of blog wars - even, if I do not know exactly who is fighting each other. I try to be very tolerant, but it stops, if someone is not fair or too massive - watching from outside, you never know the complete story, you do not know both sides. But there are rules, how people should treat each other. When I was the first time in the USA, I was very surprised about this bipolar system, as in Germany we have many colors, not only two. Anyway, please stay away from trouble (if it is avoidable), take care of the cats and find some fun here and outside of this platform.  Giacomo Chevalier de Seingalt Mehr * More: in meinem - in my Blog and my group Casanovas Separee -Privat Chat PRIVATE POSTBOX* Giacomo Casanova in a Nutshell* Giacomo Casanova auf die Schnelle
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Very well said. I try not to be mean or nasty to others here but it has happened and we both apologized to each other. Life is too short to hold grudges and drama. My life is too busy for any of it. The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness. 
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[quick breathe in] Awwww, little kitty!  Uhhhhh … “I know jack all about your political organizations because I'm an American who grew up in one of the worst education systems inside one of the wealthiest nations in the world.” That made me snort aloud. As someone from the country to the north, from years of viewing our friends to the south, I am laughing … (importantly) not at you, but with you. I evaluate a country by how it deals with education and healthcare. Weirdly, considering the prosperity of the U.S., there is a heavy skewing of those realms, which results in systems which don’t seem like they benefit the entire nation, as a whole, as much as they could.There’s the species we believe we are, and then there’s who we actually are. Social media isn’t an expression of what we aspire to be, most of the time, but more a reflection of our truer selves. That ignores, of course, what the intentions of sites’ owners/managers are. I try not to be too cynical, but, well, “it’s tough out there”, a fair-bit of the time. Another challenge is that 55% of communication is non-verbal, and another 18% (if I remember correctly) is peri-verbal. So, there’s a lot of information missing compared to what we’re used to. Some people do better at working out what’s being communicated from that limited portion. Or, maybe, a bit better at feeling the shape of the missing info? Therefore, it’s a challenge to be entirely certain, so I tend to take an approach where I try to step back a bit before assuming my interpretation of an interaction in the online world is definitely the correct interpretation. In person is both better, and possibly worse? In the end, you gotta find what makes you happy. Or, not-miserable, at least. Hopefully you can keep finding enough benefit in continuing to participate here. Either way, I’m sure the cats like ya. Or, would notice if you disappeared… -- allgud69xxx Yeah ... that's right ... I went there ..  Wanna msg, but can't - my Postbox blog Another way to say hi my Postbox
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Unfortunately, people suck so it's best to always keep your guard up and walk away from a toxic person/situation
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What is really scary is that many people these days enjoy being cruel and vicious and they don’t care how they affect other people’s lives. I have worked in an outdoor public setting for 17 years and I have been lucky enough to make many people’s lives better just by being kind and funny and understanding. I know this is different than the topic you were talking about, but I wanted to share with you what I’ve done in real life.   Funny women are incredibly sexy!
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Lately I feel I know more cruel people than kind people. Hugs!!
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Blog wars are needless and so high school my friend, although you know I have been involved in a few skirmishes here over the years. Those here who do not let things go and carry on with them though need to find something better to do. Just walk away as you so wisely put my friend.xoxo
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1/10/2022 4:34 am |
Considering some of the things I've seen on this site I keep everyone at arms length and do my best to avoid the "wars". Sometimes you can get unexpectedly drawn in.
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loved your post and agree with all you said I always try and be caring decent person to others sometimes its really hard so many are out there to just try and bring others down cant understand what they achieve by doing this and realize the hurt they cause
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Frankly saying...i am at the point, "Fuck it...Does it really matter?" I have seen enough around here...I just do me... I will do what ever satisfy me, don't give a shit about what others think about me.... But I dig you so much...really...this human behavior, hurting others, saying meaning things on purpose, doing things for themselves without caring about others, really getting sad...why human do that??? We are the most dirty animal, you know? I don't think any other animals would do that... no wonder why I am on Instagram lately than being on this site, scrolling down all the cat posts I am following...i am so sad, i don't wanna deal with people anymore...not even Face book, they are just as bad, very political.
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I think what a lot of people never give much thought to fact that not all of us grew up or with the internet.It really took off in the eighties.I find those who have a completely different culture.I mean when you have eight year old kids telling you what a hot wife is or how they can't wait to get older because they have always liked older women. Having the opportunity to write a blog,Which was the only reason I joined 6 six or seven years ago.I noticed right off the bat the animosity, of course at that time the site was guaranteeing women's consent.In twenty four hours.Just being a male meant you either thought this was whores R us or were just another candidate for a headfromassectomy.I left these pages shortly after they dismantled the blogging ranking system.I came here with no intention of sending any messages of intent.That was long before I realise a guy over fifty really had no business on the dating Side. Great post ! Brought back some fond memories and some very familiar faces! Using more than all the road!
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