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What has made me who I am
What has made me who I am So many on these sites but who are they really? Who am I? Many do not care as they are searching for casual meetings but I am not. I am looking for my Master, my ending. Someone who has the strength and power to mold me into what he wants so he can use me as service to him. And though I may play or meet many frogs to find my end I prefer they know about my past and present here. No its impossible to write everything and a few I will share along the way but here goes. As my profile states in late 2019 I was going to retire to Ecuador so I sold my car, started the visa process and I was suppose to leave in May 2020. But the virus closed down the borders. Everything came to a halt. I had sold off over half my possessions and had to start over again and re-sign my lease. I have always been very active. I have traveled extensively and mountain biked all across the US. I did yoga and taught hip hop street style dance in South Korea at my school. I have always been the picture of health. In fact I have not had the flu in 30 years so I feel blessed as I never got vaccinated for the flu. I am also not vaccinated for Covid as of yet. Being quarantined and living alone I have not felt the need as I have everything delivered plus also I am not feeling comfortable with the idea of a vaccine with so little study done so far. Though I am not religious I do believe in God and believe somehow this is the beginning of what is to come in the BOOK OF REVELATION. The world has either gone crazy or this virus simply brought out how crazy people were all along. I believe it to be the latter. Still I have rarely took any kind of medication much less aspirin. I have always suffered through. While in South Korea I started having back pain. I was working constantly over a computer as an English Teacher. I was born with facial deformities and people made fun of me and adults made it clear I was not Miss America so around 23 years of age I started the long process of multiple surgeries, braces etc. All during a period in time where this field of surgery was in its infancy and while raising a as a single mom with no support. Fast forward to 2007 while in Asia all this would come back to haunt me as I believe my back pains that went away after doing yoga but then progressed and later was diagnosed as a mild case of cervical dystonia was the result of all my surgeries. I had had my final surgery in 2003 at Baylor Medical in Dallas Texas. Of all my surgeries it was the hardest to recover from. I was also getting older as we all are and going to Korea I forgot to balance my life between work and play. So I suffered my decision. I had also been in a traumatic accident in my 20s. A few weeks after my first surgery. A friend of mine that was my ride home from a club ran off with her boyfriend leaving me stranded at 2am. Her friend who I barely knew offered me a ride back to my car. I would soon regret that decision. After I rejected his advances he assaulted me and said he was going to teach me a lesson. He veered a dirt mountain road. I panicked, jumped from the car and the car ran over me. I jumped and ran to the nearest house who called the police. They took me to the hospital where I was so bloodied they thought I would die. Fast forward the court did nothing to him saying I had no case as he did nothing physically to to me and he lied about the rest. That the typical courts in West Virginia. The impact from the jump crushed my right cheek bone and ruined my 1st facial surgery. So fast forward that may have played a factor in my dystonia. In 20 I had been saving for extensive dental work including dental implants (no I am not toothless). But in 20 to 20 I had to go on leave from my job as my neck spasms slowly progressed. My job required a yearly Certificate and I could no longer pass the physical due to the lack of range of motion in my neck . I was unable to work. I have a pension from retiring at 47 from my previous job plus I tutored American Sign Language but it was the hardest struggle of my life. I also gained weight mostly around the middle but I still looked good in my clothes. I finally took my SS so now I am doing Ok but had it continued I could've ended homeless. I also have free healthcare for life from my retirement job of 22 years and will get Medicare this month. I have decided to restart my ASL Business strictly online starting in March 2022. I still have all my material from my classes and with some tweeking going online should be easy. With all the online learning and ASL being an excepted in high schools and universities as a foreign language credit in most schools it seems like a good plan. If not I will be fine as I am a survivor. I have a yoga and dance studio in my house and have slowly started my yoga again. I have issues with balance with difficult yoga poses sometimes so we will see. I am also looking at rowing machines as they are low impact but great for the whole body. I want the HYDROW ROWER but it is really expensive along with a required monthly membership so I may start out with the Concept2 RowErg. Both are expensive. I really the HYDROW ROWER but needing a new laptop for my business I must make wise decisions. I also like to stay out of debt. Many keep secrets or they tell bits and pieces of who they were or are now..but if someone truly does not know you flaws and all how can they truly accept you. We are all flawed and a product of out past. I grew in a really bad home so I have learned everything the hard way. I am a flawed human being and a Slave. So as my life continues searching this has been some of my life till now. If that scares people off then I am grateful as I have simply dodged another of the many bullets I have encountered and will continue to do so in the future. Sorry for any misspelled and missing words as AdultFriendFinder has a way of changing everything so I will correct them as I find them. |
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